Blazing a Trail in a Rugby Chair

This past week has been very challenging for me. Not getting a tryout for the Developmental National Team was so gut wrenching it is beyond words. The reason it is so difficult for me is because I KNOW I would be an extremely valuable member of the team.

Unfortunately wheelchair rugby uses a system to classify hands that does not capture the true level of my impairment. All my muscles are still alive, but they don’t work the way they should. They are slow and clunky and get worse with physical exercise. There is nothing I can do to change this at the moment. It just stinks that I have to wait another two years of my physical prime to see some justice. I remind myself everyday to be thankful for God’s time and to not worry about my own.

In a weird way it has been a blessing in disguise. I have had so many people give me their support over the last week it has been incredible! The system is still very flawed, but the love I feel from the rugby world has never been greater.

One of my greatest supporters was Tom Vesco of Vesco Metal Craft. Tom sent me a great message of support and it was very touching to me. After playing one season of rugby in 2004-2005 I realized a used chair that didn’t fit was not going to cut it.

I called around to the different wheelchair companies and finally decided to get a Vesco. I was very nervous about getting a rugby chair because no one had ever built a chair for a cerebral palsy ball handler before in the United States. I was worried chair manufacturers wouldn’t realize I could feel my legs and they wouldn’t realize my legs are constantly jumping up and down out of my control.

Tom and Neil are very solutions oriented people. They suggested I just come out to the shop in San Diego and they would measure me for the chair themselves. My parents gave me my Christmas present three months early that year; I got a plane ticket from Chicago to San Diego.

Tom, Neil and I become a team in how to make me the best rugby chair. We made some assumptions, some were right, some were wrong, but that is what happens when you are trailblazers. Perfection was never the goal, positive growth was. We assumed I would be able to do things with my hands and trunk that I never was able to, but how were we supposed to know this at the time?

I promise making mistakes is one thousand times better then never trying. I look at my 26 inch wheels and wish I had the quick starting of 25 inch wheels. Because of my function loss in my hands I want to move to 25 inch tires, but that doesn’t make my 26 inch tires bad.



I’m proud of my 26 inch wheels because it is a symbol of my innovation and willingness to keep trying things despite barriers.

I was used to 26 inch tires from basketball. When I played college wheelchair basketball I had the worst hands in the league. If anyone touched the ball while I was holding it I was going to turn it over. The one thing I had going for me was my height.

I have long arms and could even block some high function players thanks to my wingspan. I was ALWAYS guarded by shorter players. So I learned to put the ball above my head with two arms that way no one could steal the ball from me. With 26 inch tires I was one inch taller. The way my basketball logic worked back then was all based on stable height. So many people were faster then me, I just didn’t want to cause turnovers the few times I got to touch the ball.

Pushing with 26 inch tires creates interesting advantages and disadvantages. It just seemed like the right thing for me to do to keep doing what I was doing while playing basketball.

I love rugby with all my heart, but it has not been easy. It has been and continues to be a roller coaster. It is nice to have someone to have my back through the twist and turns like the Vescos. I am venturing a guess that no one in rugby has as messed up feet as me that they CAN FULLY FEEL. This creates some interesting challenges and we are still figuring things out. I am currently on my third foot plate and the Vescos have never charged me an extra dime.

People, who know me, know that I am wired differently. I don’t see companies as companies, they are people. Red from Eagle is an excellent man and his son Tate is one of my favorite people in rugby, but I can only have one chair. I’ll keep blazing my trail in the chair with the yellow wheels.

Thanks for reading! Anything is possible!
Chris

Live from Louisville

Hey Everyone

I’m sorry I have been MIA for the last few days. I have been very busy getting ready and participating in rugby nationals.

I am so blessed to be around such an amazing rugby family. There are nothing but wins in my heart because of all the wonderful people and experiences I get to be surrounded by.

As athlete of the year Nick Springer says “We are all in this together!”

All the players are SO SO thankful for the contributions that the volunteers give so selflessly to our sport.

We Love Rugby!

THANK YOU!
Chris

My Apology to the Utrecht Scorpions

I had to do something yesterday that I never like to do. I went back on my word.

The thing I love to do more then anything in the world is play wheelchair rugby.

I love to do it so much I will go anywhere on the globe to play it. After being a guest player for South Florida, Manitoba and Midwest Rebels I realize the power of playing rugby anywhere I can.

After the December 2008 tryouts for Team USA 2009, I was under the impression that there would be no Team USQRA for 2009. So I started searching for off-season playing opportunities on the Internet. I found out about the tournament in Amsterdam and was soon shooting many e-mails back and forth between Europe and Alabama.

The Utrecht Scorpions graciously offered for me to play with them in Amsterdam in mid-June. I was very excited about the prospect and had full intentions of going up until a couple of days ago.

Team USQRA has yet to be selected, but if I am blessed enough to be selected I will be in Brazil at the same time that Amsterdam tournament is going on. My biggest dream in life is to put on the red, white and blue. I must set my mind for it and have no barriers in the way. I'm guaranteed nothing and open to whatever the universe has to offer.

I am writing this to send the deepest apology I know how to the Scorpions. I also want them to know that I will do whatever I can to help them out. If there is any experienced 2.0-3.0 that would like to go to Amsterdam in mid-June please contact me at chris.rathje@gmail.com and I will relay information.

Scorpions, thank you for your generosity I will do whatever I can to help you.

I hope you realize my heart was pure, but circumstances just didn't work out.

I wish you nothing but the best and hope we can work together some other time.

Thanks for your time
Chris

The Michigan Lessons

This one is dedicated to my coach Kevin, my teammate Bryan, and my buddy Matt from TNT.

On last Thursday I headed to Michigan with the attitude “Let's go have one of the best weekends of our lives boys!” Even I didn't realize how accurate I was.

The first lesson of the weekend came while Lakeshore and TNT were waiting for our flight to Michigan in O'Hare. Both teams were sitting there waiting for our flight and I was sitting right next to Matt.

He had a hard spasm and the bag he was carrying in his lap fell to the ground. I knew the situation very well. Whether it's the contents of my wallet spilling all over the grocery store floor, the mail spilling all over the place or knocking the ball out of my own lap, I have felt ashamed of my spasms thousands of times in my life.

This is why Matt gave me such a valuable lesson. When I picked up Matt's bag from the ground he just smiled and said “Thanks!” No shame or embarrassment. Matt knows who he is and knows a little spasm doesn't define him.

I am a very stubborn person when it comes to certain things. I wouldn't be a fraction of how successful I am without that stubbornness, but I also know it leads to flaws. I'm always hungry to prove I can do things myself even when if I just asked for help it would make my life easier.

I'm not a bad person because I can't pick up coins from the ground quickly and I'm not a weak person for accepting help. God gives us talents and flaws for a reason. We must rely on one another to get the most out of life.

I try extremely hard to practice this in my life. I hope my love and support for my teammates shines through. I hope I am productive voice from the bench and court.

It warmed my heart to see us play so well against Ohio to start the weekend off right and I was really excited to get out there and play myself. I was frantic trying to force my body to do things it didn't want to do, but then Kevin told me one of the wisest things I've ever heard. “Only focus on things you can control. Right now you can’t control your body.”

I just naturally assume I can control my body, but Kevin is right on the money. My hands and torso do not appreciate how hard I have pushed them since 2000, they are rebelling and telling me I need to get smarter.

Something I realized over the last several months is to bring your fear out into the light. That way the fear cannot get you later on. I openly admitted to my team how scared I really was about what my body was doing. I even shed a few tears and Bryan picked me right up

He said it was time for “No Fear.” And he was right!

Over the course of the weekend Bryan and other vets showed me how to conserve energy and become a smarter player. Talking calmly and confidently really does work better and saves a lot of energy. There are still times I talk too much, but I now know why and will discuss further in a later post.

I'm really blessed to be part of such an amazing team and I'm really proud of the entire heartland sectional. I think all eight teams that were there our on their way up. No team there was perfect, but we are all improving from where we began. After all life isn't about perfection, life is about growth. The heartland is growing and I proud to be involved in that growth.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for selecting me to get the sportsmanship award. I would have been extremely embarrassed if I received an award like that in the past. I would have thought that getting singled out like that was somehow wrong because of my low self-esteem, but I now realize its okay to be me.

I mess up all the time, but I still try to let the light that shines in my heart become visible to everyone else. Everyone else makes it so easy. I get to be a member of a special team, who gets the privilege to play a special sport.

Less than 1% of the population understands what it is like to be us. We might wear different colored jerseys during the game, but I've yet to meet an opponent. We are all family!

Thanks for reading
Chris

100 Passes

I did a light pushing and ball handling workout in the Lakeshore Fieldhouse last night.

One of the main weaknesses of my game is passing. Getting my arms and hands to do what they need to do when I want them to do it. So before I left for the night I decided to get a hundred clean passes and catches off the wall.

I was quite tired and sore from a weekend of rugby with my hands and abs yelling at me like never before, but that is just temporary. Being a champion in everything you do lasts forever.

My first attempt at a hundred ended at 10. My second attempt ended at 18. My third attempt ended at 37. My fourth attempt I got in a really nice flow and made it all the way to 61 before my mind slipped on a catch.

I got so angry at myself I couldn’t think straight and I could only muster four on the fifth attempt. I had a flash of a self doubting mental thought, “just give up it doesn’t matter!”

We all control our own lives and for many I’m sure it doesn’t matter, but nothing matters more to me. I have places to go in my life and I need to become a better player to make that happen.

I regrouped mentally before my right hand slipped on number 26 of the sixth attempt. I started damming my own arms for not doing what I wanted them to do, but that was a horrible attitude. My mind always controls my arms if I have a firm enough mindset.

On the seventh attempt I finally hit 100 and I was in such a good flow I hit 200 without a flub of any kind. 200 is my new standard and by sometime soon a thousand will be. Set your mind for what you really want and go get it!

I am far from perfect I really wanted to quit after attempt four and attempt six, but my mind knows what is coming and would not let me stop. KNOWING where you are going before it even seems rational is how people make things happen.

At 22 I doubted my dreams as a nine-year-old because I couldn’t push with a ball in my lap. At 27 I now realize my nine year old self was brilliant because it had the guts to say someday Chicago is going to host the Paralympics and I’m going to win a gold medal.

I constantly say life is not about perfection, it’s about growth. I fell 6 times and wouldn’t let myself quit. On the seventh attempt I got twice of what I wanted.

Have the guts to say what you really want and go get it. This is not an easy process, but it is a simple one. Expect more from yourself then you ever thought possible. If you follow your dreams, put forth maximum effort and uplift others. Anything is possible!

I challenge you to love something in your life you never loved before. Man I loved when my arms didn’t work the way I wanted them to because it showed how strong my mind really is.

Love your life and bless the world!

Thanks for reading
Chris

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I was blessed to go to the University of Illinois. I did not have the raw materials to be successful there, but I wouldn’t allow that to stop me. I was scared, I lacked a lot of life skills, but I had one thing going for me, I was determined.

For a myriad of reasons it took me a lot longer amount of time to do my homework then the average student. An average night for me was going to bed at 1 AM, and getting up at 4:45 AM. The only way I survived those first five semesters before I had a better system down was a lot of sleep on the weekends and occasional naps. As you can imagine I had my moments of weakness with such little sleep. There were moments I literally saw red and lashed out in anger, there were moments I was so sad when I failed, I would openly bawl in front of a large group of people.

On one such occasion someone said “You can’t make a turnip bleed.” I basically took it to mean well you have cerebral palsy; you can’t be a good athlete.

I do not like to use profanity because it puts up barriers, but it took every fiber of my being not to use a word that starts with the 6th letter of the alphabet and the appropriate pronoun. (Believe me I am no saint just ask Joel or Sulli about the Germany game in 2008.)

That anger, that venom stayed inside for quite a few years. The problem remains the same, but how I choose to deal with it has changed. I will be positive and I will overcome it.

Some of you might be asking yourself why is Chris talking about this?

On Wednesday I realized something that I knew, but was unwilling to admit. I am losing function. These are not medical terms, but this is how I explain it. With cerebral palsy you have your base injury and then you have damage from your spasms. I realized on Wednesday that my spasm damage has reached a new level. I went to see my wonderful friend and massage therapist Linda because I have felt really uncomfortable for the last five weeks. My body has felt like a pretzel. It is uncomfortable to sit. (That’s a real problem for someone who uses a wheelchair.) I don’t get scared often by my crazy body, but I honestly was.

Anyways, Linda concluded that my abs were a big spastic mess and they were shifted to the left after accidently doing some uneven sit-ups. The fact that I was doing extra crunches to make up for some injuries earlier in the year was actually causing more harm then good. We were trying to figure out what was going on and then I just kind of blurted out “could I be losing function?”

She had me grip her hands. I couldn’t grip as hard as I used to. We did some things to test my abs, I couldn’t move as easily. There was nothing scientific to what we did, but the answer is pretty obvious.

I have lost function. The weird thing with CP is I could probably get most of it back, but at a cost. No more working out if I want to have looser hands and abs. I need to decrease my muscle tone so I have fewer spasms.

This is nothing new to my subconscious. It realized that after the Minnesota tournament I couldn’t grip as well, sometime during the off season my abs lock up more during pushing then ever before and I can’t use my middle fingers or thumbs for typing like I used to. However earlier I did not have the courage to ask this question.

Could this be it for rugby? That venom from a few years ago showed up in small doses and that is one of the reasons I have stayed in my apartment for the last two days. At some point early this morning I concluded this is a major crossroads. I had a choice to make. Is this going to make me bitter or better? I choose to make myself better. It is always the right decision, but sometimes it takes some time to see it.

By no means does this mean I have to stop playing rugby! It actually means quite the opposite; it means it is time to step it up. I have always worked hard, but I don’t know if I’ve always worked smart. I need to empower myself with more information by talking to doctors and therapists. Find that perfect amount of exercise where I’m doing the most good.

This is not going to help just me; this is going to help the entire wheelchair sports community! I am going to share everything I learn with everyone so we can see all the greatness that lies ahead. People with cerebral palsy can be athletes too. We just need to be trained according to our bodies and classed properly. I know this will not be easy and this will not happen overnight, but what great things happen overnight and painlessly?

I am thankful that I lost function when I did because I know it serves a greater purpose. I prayed for months ahead a time to be at my best for the Demolition Derby and I was able to play more in front of the home crowd then ever before.

I started feeling like a pretzel the next weekend in Raleigh. The universe works in mysterious ways, but in the long run it is good to you if you are good to it.

I would like to finish up by giving thanks.

Thank you Delvin for pulling me aside at the Raleigh tournament and telling me not to be afraid to handle the ball. I now know that I was very scared by what my body was doing to itself even though I couldn’t put it into words at the moment. You saw the fear in eyes before I even knew it was there.

A very special thank you to Eddie who saw my drop in function and has believed my class should change even before I did.

I would also like to thank my friends from Canada, London (GB) and Denver for pulling me aside and saying what they saw about my function level. It is truly selfless and shows how great our sport is.

Our sport is amazing. Let’s keep playing hard, having fun and changing lives! We can smash the stereotype of what someone with cerebral palsy is capable of and make that turnip bleed.

Thank you for reading
Chris

My Favorite Team

Earlier in the week I wrote a piece for the Illinois Men’s Wheelchair Basketball Team because they are preparing for their national championship competition this weekend. After they really liked what I wrote I decided to give something else a try. If you find this the least bit beneficial great, if you don’t like it just ignore it.

Looking back on my eleven years of basketball my favorite team to be a part of was the team when I was a freshman in college. We ended up winning the national championship that year, but that is not what made it my favorite team. What made it my favorite team was who we were and how we accomplished our goals. The University of Texas-Arlington had beaten us two out of three games during the regular season. The losses included a 50 point beat down (Missing several players from our team because of the Paralympics.) and only the second loss at Huff Hall in the Coach Frogley era.

They beat us in our place in February. What were we going to be able to change by March? I know we practiced harder in the weeks that followed, but the difference was marginal. Then the most intense week of practice I have ever been a part of occurred. Coach Frogley had us prepared in every way, but it was the players who decided to step up their preparation. I do not remember that week of preparation as stories. I remember it as a feeling; this intense certainty that we were going to win the game no matter what. We were set to overcome any obstacle; it was all about us. At 19 I thought this feeling was common. I now know it’s not. It’s something very special.

UTA shot 55% from the field that day. Illinois shot 63% and won the tenth championship in program history. I did not play in the game, but I was honored when my teammates decided that I should cut the first string of the net. When Coach Frogley cut down the final string it sunk in. With the net in hand, I realized we were champions! As Illinois goes for there 12th championship in program history, it makes me realize how blessed I am.

It also makes me realize how that is no longer my favorite team. My favorite team is the one I am currently on, the 2008-2009 Lakeshore Demolition!

I have found it is way harder to be a TEAM after college because of work and other life responsibilities, but we still figure out a way and this is because of the greatness of our coach Kevin Orr.

When you play for Kevin it’s not all about lollipops and rainbows. There have been times he has made me sad and times he has made me angry, but I know he loves me and all his players.

There would be no Lakeshore Demolition without Kevin Orr. He built our program on guts and determination. He had the courage to move over 700 miles away from his friends and family and over the years he built a dynasty from nothing.

I will ever be indebted to Kevin because he encouraged me to make the same 700 mile journey about fifteen years later after many were unable or unwilling to teach me the game because I had cerebral palsy.

Before I came to Birmingham I was the “most spastic player in college wheelchair basketball”. Over the course of two years, I became a wheelchair rugby player. I would not be a wheelchair rugby player without Kevin Orr. I would not be a writer if I wasn’t a rugby player first. I’ll let you do the math.

I enjoyed the other teams I have played with while I have been down here and really miss the friendship of Dan, Josh and Brandon, but this team has something special. The younger players have all stepped their games up while the veterans continue to give wisdom and perform consistently.

Kevin, Sulli, Bryan and Willard have been here since the beginning. They are legends for what they have created and are great examples of what is possible. Joel, Delvin and our newest player Kevin Kramer represent what is yet to come. With great athletes and great people anything is possible.

We begin our playoff run next week in Michigan and hope to continue it in Louisville in April. Our story has yet to be written, but I feel Lakeshore 2009 is more special then Illinois 2001. I love my team! I am hopeful we will find that feeling that Illinois 2001 possessed.

I wish everyone the best as the playoffs are going on this weekend and in subsequent weeks. I look forward to making my team better and wish everyone else the best of luck as they try to do the same.

Can I ask a favor? If you see fit could you please say a prayer for Illinois and Lakeshore. The power of positive energy is very real. I could have gone many places to play sports, but Illinois and Lakeshore gave me the courage to release myself from a net of fear and allow me to share my gifts with the world!

Thank You Frog, Thank You Kevin, Thank You Everyone!
Chris

My Swiss Mistake

I’m currently having a blast at the Knock ‘n Roll wheelchair rugby tournament in Lake Worth Florida. I was very blessed to get an opportunity to play against the national team from Switzerland  on  Friday.

 On the first possession I was in the game I learned a valuable lesson that can be applied to life.

 My teammate Bob inbounded the ball to me and I took off down the court. Without going into great detail, I successfully crossed half-court, which in high-level games like this has been a difficulty for me in the past.

 I got a few quick pushes and then went blind to the right side of the court.   I only saw one very good defender between me and the goal. My ego got the best of me and I tried to make a one-on-one play. It all kinds of blurs together, but there was a collision where we fought for the ball. I ended up getting the ball back but in the process I went out of bounds and caused my team to lose the ball.

 I learned a valuable lesson in that one play and it can be applied to life.

 My problem was rooted in my improvement process and shortsightedness.

Going over the half court line is a much different endeavor in wheelchair rugby when compared to wheelchair basketball because of the rules that say who is at fault if you are to go over and back across the half court line.

 This is a situation that I had a very difficult time interpreting, up until a few months ago. I was so proud that I calmly got across half-court, I zoned out into a mode where I felt it was all on me to score and I would accomplish my goal.

 I do not consider myself to be a selfish player, but that was a selfish moment.

 It is a good reminder how both rugby and life are team sports.   Trying to score the goal with a flashy one on one play is like trying to accomplish a goal in a more challenging and brash manner. Many times if you calm down and take it one step at a time you can accomplish your goal just the same. You may not get all the attention, and it might take a little longer, but you can accomplish your goal all the same.

Some of the other things I learned are:

1.     Just because you make it one step further down your path, don’t go two or three steps ahead when you’re not ready.

2.     Keep your eyes open to the right side of the court. Just because you see one path to your goal doesn’t mean others aren’t available.

3.     Remember life is a team sport. We can all achieve more when we use the help of those around us.

4.      As we all continue to follow our dreams, the speed of the game will increase and raise our heartbeats, but we must have the mental strength to stay calm and use the same fundamentals we learned earlier on down our paths.

 I hope others can benefit from my international blunder. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such greatness and I honestly cherish my mistake.

If you find yourself struggling in an area that you really care about, take the time to love the activity and eliminate fear from the equation. If you embrace your mistakes and learn from them they are just steps on your path to your dreams. 

Thanks for reading

Chris

The Brotherhood of Learning

I would like to dedicate this post to the Chicago Bears wheelchair rugby team.  Thanks to Dan, Tom and Rob for letting me practice with them today!

The original title of this post was The Brotherhood of Rugby but I realized that doesn't fully encapsulate my point.  I was having a conversation with someone recently about how there is a certain beauty to having a disability because it transcends gender, nationality or socio-economic status.  If you have a similar injury to someone you have an instant understanding of his life that 99% of the world does not.  (I think I have made my point without having to go into detail but if someone wishes to know more just contact me.)

This got me thinking the disabled community is not the only place where this occurs.  In my own personal experience the IMC graduate program at Northwestern transcended so many common barriers of understanding.  Because of our common ground of marketing communication education I had the opportunity to learn from 79 wonderfully unique individuals from 16 countries!

If we are open to the abundance of the universe and able to find the common ground on which we all stand, the possibilities are endless!  

In order to make my dreams a reality I realize I need to push through my journey 365 days a year.  That is why I bought my new friend Mac and put effort forth to bring my rugby chair a.k.a The Dream Machine up to Illinois.

The sport of wheelchair rugby is an amazing tool for learning.  It is the one opportunity for quads to play a team sport and as a side effect players have a better understanding of their bodies whether they are newly hurt or have had this version of their body for their whole life.  The generosity of our sport never ceases to amaze me.  

Pushing in circles and throwing a ball against the wall only partially simulates our sport and I was eager to get some team practice time in while I am north for the holidays.  I just emailed Chicago and told them the situation and they welcomed me to their practice.  I have heard similar stories from  many before.

Thank you my brothers in learning for realizing we are all in this together!

Chris 

Team Fire & Smile

This post is dedicated to Dave Willsie. I learned about Dave Willsie from the pages of Sports ‘n Spokes magazine before I even started playing wheelchair rugby. Dave has been a mainstay on the Canadian national team for a decade and a member of many successful American club teams.

We met and played against each other for the first time in January 2007. Dave was playing for his hometown team the London Ontario Annihilators and I was a guest player for the South Florida Rattlers. I knew Dave and the rest of his team would be a real challenge for me and my adopted team, that is why I was shocked on my team’s first possession I was able to break free and score.

As London inbounded Dave got the ball and before I knew it the only thing between Dave and the goal was me. Dave was going faster then I was and I could not stop him with my chair so I tried to reach in and cause a jump ball. In the process I gave his arm a good whack which was not intended. I apologized immediately and Dave calmly replied “No worries man. It’s part of rugby.” We have been friends ever since.

I love the way Dave plays because it is full of passion and he takes each goal scored against him personally. He strives for perfection on the rugby court. He is living proof the size of fight in the dog is ten times more important then the size of the dog in the fight.

I saw Dave this summer at a competition where I was frustrated because my offseason had been full of injuries and I was not training the way I wanted to. The advice he offered could be applied to any field in life.

“As long as you have fire in your belly and a smile on your face you will figure out a way to be successful.”

Thank you Dave for the sage advice. There is so much fundamental truth in such a simple statement. It is hard to stop a person that is hungry and happy. Being joyful and aggressively striving perfection is quite a combo.

Thanks for reading!
Chris

The Shepherd Lessons

I had originally started this list as topics to discuss with my coach Kevin on how to learn the most out of the mistakes I made this past weekend but figured that even though all these mistakes are made in the game of wheelchair rugby there is some essence to them that could be applied to broader lessons in life.

If you've been working hard at something don't be shocked when you succeed.

This is now the fourth season I have been playing wheelchair rugby. I work hard at my passion and cherish the improvements that I see. Catching the ball has always been the most difficult part of the game for me. On two separate occasions while playing I had to push very fast to get to the ball at an angle that was less than desirable. On both occasions I fully caught the ball with both hands but I was so shocked I caught the ball I ended up dropping it. The reason I failed was I didn’t believe in my own ability. Believe that you will always succeed no matter what. Expect greatness and stay full of love and joy if you need to wait some.

Know who you are and don't apologize for it.

Back in January of 2001 I learned that I process information so much better in the team sports arena if I am constantly communicating (Thanks Coach Frogley!). I believe it forces my brain to go less on thought and more on reaction. In one game in particular I stopped communicating because I did not want to be rude to my opponent however this was a contributing factor to my subpar performance. Please know if you ever play me in a game of rugby I never mean any harm by my communication. It is solely to help myself and my teammates. If there is a particular technique that others find quirky but you find necessary to be at your best stand tall and be proud of who you are.

Pass the ball or push your chair to where it is going to be not where it is at the current moment.

When you do this in the game of rugby you end up causing a turnover and hurting your team. If you always aim for where things are you are selling yourself short and preventing the universe from showing you the beauty of abundance.

If you know the ball is going to go off your knee or the wheel do something about it, don't just watch it happen.

Over years of practice I have a much better sense of where a ball is headed but at times I still cannot react to the situation. Please learn from my mistake if you see the signs for a negative outcome do something about it; write an e-mail, make a call or have a face-to-face conversation. If you attempt to change the outcome things will get better and better. I'm going to change my outcome by trying some new passing drills.

Stay positive regardless of the mistakes you make.

I know this is impossible to verify but you have my word that my mental self talk is so much nicer to myself then it used to be however that does not mean I do not fall back into bad habits on occasion. I faltered big-time in this area three times twice for dropping balls I fully caught and once for having a ball roll out of bounds off my chair that should not have. I hung my head and I'm very disappointed in myself that I reacted in that way. Learn from my mistake. Realize if you have the capability to read this you are pretty well off in the grand scheme of things and you have the right and duty as a child of this universe to love yourself. When you stay positive even in the face of an undesirable outcome you will be rewarded with a positive outcome in the future.

Consistency is vital.

The mental vision of the player I can become is very clear and plays at a very high level. Unfortunately he has a tendency to come out for only a few minutes at a time. I think this has a lot to do with the mental aspect of the game. No matter what you do in life stay sharp and vigilant with your thoughts because they control everything else you do. As I learn more things about consistency I will sure to pass them along.

I would like to thank everyone that was involved in the Saturday, December 13 day of rugby it was a lot of fun and a unique experience compared to most tournaments. I truly enjoy playing in a real home gym of an opponent. I can only think of a handful of places that have true home gyms.

I would also like to recognize that apparently I have a new nickname Captain Intensity however will some of my past Illinois teammates please vouch there is nothing new about that. :)

Thank you to everyone involved for this learning experience
Chris

Be The Ball Danny, Be The Ball

This famous Caddyshack quote has followed me for the past eight years and I thought it would be an excellent place to start discussing the topic of what I've learned through sports. (Thanks for the idea Kevin!) In future posts I will discuss other events and activities that have had a great impact on my life because I feel there are lessons in them that can apply to many people’s lives.

For this post I would like to focus on my current passion wheelchair rugby. As part of my web committee duties I came up with an idea for a section named Off The Court. I am not married to the name but the idea behind it is that people find out so much about their new lives as disabled people through the sport of wheelchair rugby. Rugby is more than some recreational or competitive activity it is a tool for learning about life.

My idea is for different players to write different first-person testimonials to show sponsors and the general public the incredible impact rugby has on people's lives.

Please accept this humble submission as an example of how wheelchair rugby has impacted my life.

1. Don’t think so much Chris!
Throughout my life I have tended to be trapped in my mind for many different reasons but a common theme is I didn't want to make mistakes. I am far from perfect in solving this insecurity but it has gotten much better. Because of rugby I realize that mistakes equate to growth and I've been able to take many more chances off the court.

2. Movement is good even if you just made mistake
I attribute this lesson all to one occurrence in rugby. When I get beat by someone who is faster than me and my teammates switches who they are defending to help me out it is my responsibility to haul ass and try to cover the person that my teammate was originally guarding. I used to be so embarrassed by this but I always pushed as hard as I could. Then towards the end of the season last year I started to notice I was able to make some positive things happen even though the movement originally began with a mistake. I know this is a lesson that can be applied to so many different things in life.

3. Score Here!
Sorry this is a Lakeshore inside joke but the point is I have realized that it is a good thing to state your intentions even if on occasion you make a complete fool of yourself. When you say what is in your heart the things you want have a way of coming true. When I fail while saying what I thought was the right thing I have a tendency to remember the lesson more vividly. I believe this can be the case anywhere on the failure scale from minor to epic proportions however for it to be most effective I have found that it is imperative to move on completely from the failure. Like stated in point number two failure is okay, it's good even, failure is a vessel for growth.

4. Learning My Body
Even though I've had my disability for my entire life I continue to learn about it and understand more on a regular basis. Rugby is the second chapter of my life that has been a great time to learn about how my body works. When I played college wheelchair basketball it allowed me to learn a great deal however because I rarely touched the ball I was not forced to learn as much. Because I get to handle the ball much more regularly in rugby it has forced me to have a better understanding of what's going on. Because of the way I breath and prepare myself to catch the ball I have a better understanding of why my limbs and trunk spasm. I am far from complete mastery of this issue however I have seen improvement in this area. Through rugby catching and pushing I have also realized that my arms and hands tend to lock up. I don't always understand what triggers it but now I have a better understanding of why my car parking skills are less than stellar and occasionally a Lean Cuisine meal ends up on the kitchen floor (don't worry I never remove the plastic cover until I am settled and ready to eat).

5. Everyone can be Batman
When I played wheelchair basketball I did not have very high self-esteem. I just saw myself as a picker who worked really hard to be mediocre. Yes I was a picker but that didn't mean I had to be the Robin to anyone's Batman. Being a leading man or woman in your own life has very little to do with the role you play and much more to do with the way you lead your life. Lead your life with confidence, work ethic and compassion and who can possibly stop you? It doesn’t matter what happened in my life that lead me to the rugby court. All that matters is we are on the rugby court together making our sport better everyday. Lets all be leaders together!

Life is a team sport and my wheelchair rugby career is no different. I would like to finish this post by thanking everyone who has helped me in my career.

A huge thank you to My Team the Lakeshore Demolition! Thanks to an amazing staff Kevin, Kris, Boo, Gary, Kevo, Joe, The Fosters, Crystal, Patti, Crystal, Trish and all the other amazing people that work at Lakeshore.

Thanks to all my amazing teammates. Thanks to former teammates Dan Buckingham, Brandon McNeil and Josh Pennington I miss being able to see you all at least twice a week. Thanks to V, Sulli, Edward, Bob-bo, Bry, and Big Will for having patience with the young crew. Thanks to Am, J and Del for having patience with me as we continue to grow together. A special thank you goes to Joel Wilmoth for not killing me or causing me serious bodily harm. :)

Thanks to my former teammates in Chicago. They gave some basketball kid a chance when he had very little knowledge of the game.

Thanks to the teams that have allowed me to be a guest player along the road so far. John Bishop, Marco Dispaltro, and the South Florida Rattlers during Knock and Roll in 2007, Team Manitoba for Windsor and Canadian Nationals in 2007, and finally my newfound boys from Nebraska and Iowa the Midwest Rugby Rebels who let me play with them in Minnesota in St. Louis this year. It was truly a selfless act to allow me to be a guest on their teams.

Thanks to everyone I have met through special rugby events like Team USQRA tryouts and Texas Thunder.

Thanks to everyone that I have worked with as part of USQRA boards. You are all wonderful people and it has been an honor. A special thank you goes to all my brothers of the web Bob, Bill, Jason, John & Don from north of the border. Thank you for having so much patience with this website newbie.

I would also like to thank all the amazing people I have met through this sport. The encouragement and knowledge I have gained from one-time strangers is incredible. It is the catalyst for why I want to start the “Off The Court” section of the website. The knowledge sharing for life that goes on is truly unique and must be praised.

So many people have given me encouragement I hate to single out just a few, but I must to prove a point. Thanks to such world class people Will Groulx, James Gumbert, Mike Whitehead, Ian Chan, Erika Schmutz, Ross Morrison and Dave Willsie for giving me unsolicited encouragement while I was in Vancouver this summer. It proves that whether we come from rival teams in the USQRA or rival countries we are all family in rugby.

Another set of special thank you must go out to my Lakeshore family. I know I would not be following my passion of writing if it wasn’t for Lakeshore and all my other rugby brothers and sisters.

Thanks to Eddie and Sulli for having to listen to me talk rugby and life more then anyone else during tournament weekends, emails and phone calls. If it wasn’t for V (the defensive machine), Eddie (my hero) and Sulli (The Man) I could not see any court time right now.

Thanks to Kevin for being my coach in not just rugby but also life. You took a chance on a fellow Illini when you didn’t have to. You set my life down an entirely different path when you enthusiastically took my phone call on October 14 2005.

A final thank you goes to Dan Buckingham and Gary Pate they have taken on the task of being my best friends while in Birmingham. They have spent more time with me off the court than anyone else. Dan has gone back to the Southern Hemisphere however I am happy to report that Gary continues to help me improve in life on a day to day basis.

Thanks for reading!
Chris