http://www.chrisrathje.com/?p=191

I reposted an amazing article my dad sent me. I wanted as many people to see it as possible.
Thanks!

Late May Thoughts

http://www.chrisrathje.com/?p=188

I hope you enjoy my idea World Lovination, my thoughts on new show Mental and a look at going to my own beat.

Thanks everybody
Chris

Give Thanks!

I have been through some challenging times lately, but in the grand scheme of things, it is no big deal. Challenges make you better and allow you to grow if you face them with gratitude. I haven’t done a very good job of that lately. I’ve tried hard, but ultimately, failed.

I think it can be really hard to give thanks if you wrap yourself up in one goal and it doesn’t happen. Please learn from my mistake. Realize anything is possible, but in God’s time, not our own. Some people are blessed with clear paths, but most of us have twisty roads to success.

Life isn’t always fair, but life is always beautiful, if we look hard enough.

There is a major concert going on this weekend in Birmingham and I can’t help, but think of two of my favorite musical artists who will be in town, Jason Mraz and Katy Perry. Recently I have been able to follow them on Twitter. Twitter has shown me what positive people they are 140 characters at a time.

I am so thankful for their music and the impact it has had on my life.

Waiting for My Rocket to Come by Jason Mraz and Room for Squares by John Mayer are my favorite albums of my college years. They opened up my mind to a different way of thinking. Mr. Mraz’s lyrics are genius. They are filled with wisdom and have helped me through some difficult times. My favorite lyric at the moment is:

“It takes a hole to make a mountain.” -Jason Mraz, Life is Wonderful

I have really held on to that line in recent weeks and I hope other people can find value in its beautiful message as we are all facing uncertain times.

I have just discovered Ms. Perry’s music in recent months and it is such a breath of fresh air to me. Beyond her lively music Katy’s story gives me so much hope. It doesn’t matter how many failures you encounter, keep striving for success. Katy really reminds of the little engine that could. Her story helps me to keep chugging along even if the track seems covered in barriers.

I admire Jason and Katy’s demeanors. They are both having a blast with life and give thanks often. They are rocking out on their paths and appreciate the beauty in everyone.

I am so thankful for my ability to write and ability to receive inspiration from such wonderful artists. Please give thanks. It makes life better.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Listen to Your Body :)

I had plans to write two pieces tonight, but it’s just not going to happen.

I’m tired. In years past I would have pushed through, but my body is telling me to chill out.
I must say in the last few weeks I am taking better care of myself and it feels great. Its really pretty simple, but I’ve never done it before to this extent.

1. When I’m tired, I go to sleep.
2. When I’m hungry, I eat.
3. When I have to go to the bathroom, I drop what I am doing and go to the bathroom.

There is nothing wrong with being human. Please learn from all my years of mistakes. Be good to yourself. I’m trying to be better to myself.

Thanks for reading
Chris
chris.rathje@gmail.com

The Sun Shines on Everyone!

This is connected to my last post. In the closing minutes of my speech yesterday, some of the students asked me questions. They were all great and I appreciate every single one, but the one that stuck out to me the most was if there were any current movies that spoke to me.

 I explained to them how my mind was not set to movies like it had been in the past, but Sunshine Cleaning had stuck out to me and I hoped to see it while I was up in Chicago.   I saw it today and I was encouraged by what I saw.

 I apologize in advance; this is not going to be the most organized, well thought out piece I’ve ever written. My mind is not in that place right now and so my work cannot be either.

 I did not have my usual laser focus while watching this movie, my mind wandered, but it was still wonderful.   The characters in Sunshine Cleaning were far from perfect, but they were all beautiful in their own way.

 The color scheme of the entire movie set a subtle surreal tone for the entire journey and it just helped drive home the point that what most people see as ugly or disgusting has its own beauty.

 Be Different!  Have the courage to be the kid who licks the wall, recognize the kindness of the one armed man and recognize the service you are providing by cleaning up gruesome areas.

 Sunshine Cleaning had so many beautiful themes that were similar to its distant cousin movie Little Miss Sunshine, but it stood alone as well.  Sunshine Cleaning seemed more raw to me; it seemed a little dirtier.

 It reminds me of so many people who are a little rough around the edges.   I encourage anyone who knows someone that fits this description to give them a chance. You never know what they had to go through to make those edges rough.

 People assume my life is so hard because I use a wheelchair.  To be blunt the wheelchair and the physical challenges that go along with it are the easy part.  People who have horrible attitudes and project their weakness on me are the cripples, not me.  I’m tough, I’m robust and I will prosper in the New Mexico desert of Sunshine Cleaning.

 I know I am ugly and scary to so many just like the one armed man, but I try extremely hard to love everybody.  Little kids love talking to me and that’s enough of a reassurance I am doing something right.  They haven’t been told to dislike this person or that person yet.  They still listen to their hearts and love everybody.

 I got a little rougher and a little rawer today as my patience continues to wane on a topic that is closest to my heart, but I’m okay with that if it means I can go to a world where I fit in better with the boy who licks walls, the one armed man and the crime scene cleaners.

 Sunshine is an equal opportunity element. Always keep joy in your heart, give your best and uplift others!  It doesn’t matter where you come from, it matters where you are going : )

 This one is again dedicated to my undergrad IMC buddies, barriers are going to come, people are going to piss on your head and tell you it’s raining, but be strong!

 Declare I got places to go and nothing is going to stop me!  The odds of failure are only for those weak chumps who buy into what they “should” do and what they “should” expect!

 The greatness train is coming and it’s got a squeaky wheel so everybody can hear it coming.  Squeak! Squeak!

 Thanks for reading

Chris

Expanding The Zone

I would like to apologize for the long time between posts.  The end of the rugby season and a new project that wrapped up yesterday took up vast amounts of my time. 

 My new project that wrapped up yesterday excites me because it is a new forum for me to share my ideas.  Yesterday I had the privilege to speak to an undergrad class at the Integrated Marketing Communications program at the Medill School, Northwestern University.

 I had the great privilege to earn my masters degree from the same program in 2005.

 In my talk I obviously spoke quite a bit about marketing, but I tried to also talk about life.

 Here were the ground rules for our conversation:

 1. Have some fun 

2. At some point I am going to mess up (and contrary to popular belief that’s okay)

3.  Life is not about perfection; life is about growth

4. Take away what you want and dispose of the rest

 These points are chrisrathje.com regulars and I don’t think I need to expound on them in this post, but I am proud of these points and I hope the students learned something yesterday because I really enjoyed working with them and they allowed me to realize something.

 A large part of my conversation was a part called the Evanston Lessons.  Evanston is a city directly north of Chicago where a large part of the Northwestern campus is located.

 On one slide I talked about my four favorite movies during the 15 months I lived in Evanston.  I enjoy movies so much and for some reason these four just spoke to me.

 At some point either on chrisrathje.com or Soup Fork: The Book, I will share exactly what I shared with the class, however for now I would like to focus on how I felt.

 I was happy, excited and flat out pumped about my conversation with the students, but by the time I was discussing Elizabethtown, my favorite movie and the impact it had on my life  I was in the zone.  A force much greater then myself had taken over and the address of my mind was the zone in all directions.

 It is the exact same feeling I have when I have not realized four hours have gone by sitting in front of my desktop.

 Thank you Wildcats for helping me to expand my zone, please remember there is nothing special about me whatsoever.  I just follow the joy that is planted in my heart.  Following my joy has allowed me to expand my zone and following your joy can help anyone discover his or her zone or expand it.

 All students of life please remember to love your life and your path.  Barriers are sure to come, but no matter what hardship might come follow the joy.  Don’t worry about the big world.  Just worry about your zone, raise it to new heights and expand it when the time is right.

 Life is far from perfect, but it is beautiful!  :)  I know I am sloppy sometimes and I know I am stupid sometimes, but I’m going to keep eating life’s soup one forkful at a time!

 God bless everyone, thanks for reading

Chris

The Michigan Lessons

This one is dedicated to my coach Kevin, my teammate Bryan, and my buddy Matt from TNT.

On last Thursday I headed to Michigan with the attitude “Let's go have one of the best weekends of our lives boys!” Even I didn't realize how accurate I was.

The first lesson of the weekend came while Lakeshore and TNT were waiting for our flight to Michigan in O'Hare. Both teams were sitting there waiting for our flight and I was sitting right next to Matt.

He had a hard spasm and the bag he was carrying in his lap fell to the ground. I knew the situation very well. Whether it's the contents of my wallet spilling all over the grocery store floor, the mail spilling all over the place or knocking the ball out of my own lap, I have felt ashamed of my spasms thousands of times in my life.

This is why Matt gave me such a valuable lesson. When I picked up Matt's bag from the ground he just smiled and said “Thanks!” No shame or embarrassment. Matt knows who he is and knows a little spasm doesn't define him.

I am a very stubborn person when it comes to certain things. I wouldn't be a fraction of how successful I am without that stubbornness, but I also know it leads to flaws. I'm always hungry to prove I can do things myself even when if I just asked for help it would make my life easier.

I'm not a bad person because I can't pick up coins from the ground quickly and I'm not a weak person for accepting help. God gives us talents and flaws for a reason. We must rely on one another to get the most out of life.

I try extremely hard to practice this in my life. I hope my love and support for my teammates shines through. I hope I am productive voice from the bench and court.

It warmed my heart to see us play so well against Ohio to start the weekend off right and I was really excited to get out there and play myself. I was frantic trying to force my body to do things it didn't want to do, but then Kevin told me one of the wisest things I've ever heard. “Only focus on things you can control. Right now you can’t control your body.”

I just naturally assume I can control my body, but Kevin is right on the money. My hands and torso do not appreciate how hard I have pushed them since 2000, they are rebelling and telling me I need to get smarter.

Something I realized over the last several months is to bring your fear out into the light. That way the fear cannot get you later on. I openly admitted to my team how scared I really was about what my body was doing. I even shed a few tears and Bryan picked me right up

He said it was time for “No Fear.” And he was right!

Over the course of the weekend Bryan and other vets showed me how to conserve energy and become a smarter player. Talking calmly and confidently really does work better and saves a lot of energy. There are still times I talk too much, but I now know why and will discuss further in a later post.

I'm really blessed to be part of such an amazing team and I'm really proud of the entire heartland sectional. I think all eight teams that were there our on their way up. No team there was perfect, but we are all improving from where we began. After all life isn't about perfection, life is about growth. The heartland is growing and I proud to be involved in that growth.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for selecting me to get the sportsmanship award. I would have been extremely embarrassed if I received an award like that in the past. I would have thought that getting singled out like that was somehow wrong because of my low self-esteem, but I now realize its okay to be me.

I mess up all the time, but I still try to let the light that shines in my heart become visible to everyone else. Everyone else makes it so easy. I get to be a member of a special team, who gets the privilege to play a special sport.

Less than 1% of the population understands what it is like to be us. We might wear different colored jerseys during the game, but I've yet to meet an opponent. We are all family!

Thanks for reading
Chris

The Brenda Lessons

I am an only child. The closest I come to blood siblings is my first cousins. I am the oldest cousin on the Rathje side and youngest cousin on the Nagel side by a considerable margin. The second youngest cousin on the Nagel side, Kim was already driving by the time I was born. I love my Nagel cousins, but I did not grow up with them.

My cousin Andy was born four days shy of my third birthday. I have so many amazing memories with Andy from his fascination with vacuum cleaners and airplanes when we were little to us getting amazing seats at Wrigley Field together as adults, but I do not remember the day he was born.

However by the time Brenda came around over two years later, I was about to go into kindergarten. I will always remember June 9, 1987. I remember being fascinated by the concept of Brenda.

I thought to myself “Look, there’s a brand-new baby and I’m related to it!” It was an absolutely incredible experience.

Growing up as a kid I was the weak one in the family because I lacked so much physical ability. I wanted to help out my younger cousins, but didn’t know how.

Now that we are all young adults I realize that physical strength is still important, but not as important as mental and emotional strength. I would like to empower all recent college graduates and soon-to-be college graduates. This one is for Andy and Brenda.

I originally saw this as several pieces. It started several weeks ago via a Facebook conversation with my grad school friend Casey. It grew two weeks ago when talking to Brenda and was finished in my mind this afternoon after writing another Facebook message to Brenda. Thank you for inspiring me to write this Brenda. Here are five lessons I would like to share.

1. Eliminate fear, love everything in your life. So far in my studies of life I found that every emotion really boils down to love and fear.

Sometimes fear is real, but most of the time it’s not. If you are scared about something go out and do something about it or just have faith pull you through.

Right now my biggest fear is driving. I wish I could rely on my body more as far as spasticity, coordination and reaction time. I know when the time is right, I will be blessed with the right driving teacher and I will eliminate that fear. For now life goes on well up and down Highway 31 as I launch my writing career from my apartment. I pray every time I get into the car. This love and fear concept took me a long time to understand. Spend some time thinking about it and what is right for you will come to pass.

2. Decide the odds don’t apply to you!

I flat out love Grey’s Anatomy. I could care less what the current drama is between McDreamy and McSteamy, however it is an extremely well-written show and there is always two or three wise nuggets of life in every episode. This week’s episode toward the very end had a conversation between Little Gray and Izzy. Izzy has her 5% to deal with and Little Grey’s Mom somehow died with a 0% chance of that happening.

Somewhere along the line of applying to Northwestern I was told they were going to take five students straight out of undergrad. To get one of five spots seemed daunting at the time. They ended up taking 7 of us. Statistics can change! Nothing is certain. If thoughts of the economy freak you out. Do what I’ve done. Shut off the news. I do not control the economy. Try to take care of what you can control and know you can do whatever you want.

3. Follow your heart and make sure your brain is listening. Joy is like a compass and your brain is like a GPS system.

It will take you exactly where you want to go, but you have to give it the right address. If you don’t like where you end up enter a new address, but don’t stay there. Most great journeys only reveal themselves one step at a time. Learn to be okay with this.

4. Treat everyone well and take extra care of the ones that love you.

A couple months ago I was looking for an answer to a question for several months. Out of the blue a person who has treated me like a pile of garbage for several years now just e-mails me the answer to my important question without even realizing that I was looking for that answer. I doubt this person even knows how much their actions hurt me because I rose above the situation so well. If that is not an example of karma, I do not know if one exists. I have been trying for a couple weeks now to come up with the exact phrasing for number 3 with the idea that it would be its own separate piece. I know the only reason I was able to come up with the exact phrase was because I was trying to uplift my lovely baby cousin this afternoon via Facebook. God gives us gifts if we look after those we are supposed to.

5. Follow your dreams, work hard and treat other people like you want to be treated.

I have said this so many times, but it needs to be repeated. I have seen so many people do the last two without doing the first one. Why do so many people ignore their hearts? The universe gives us personalized maps and we sometimes try to look at other people’s. Don’t follow the money! Follow the love; if you work hard at something you love the money will follow. Money after all really is just green paper.

No matter what age we are we are responsible for our little corner of the world. If everyone takes care of their own corner, all the sudden the world’s problems are lessened. This is a reality in our lifetime and any lifetime. The purpose of life is not perfection it is growth. Anything is possible!

Thank You Brenners, Thank You Everyone!
Chris

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I was blessed to go to the University of Illinois. I did not have the raw materials to be successful there, but I wouldn’t allow that to stop me. I was scared, I lacked a lot of life skills, but I had one thing going for me, I was determined.

For a myriad of reasons it took me a lot longer amount of time to do my homework then the average student. An average night for me was going to bed at 1 AM, and getting up at 4:45 AM. The only way I survived those first five semesters before I had a better system down was a lot of sleep on the weekends and occasional naps. As you can imagine I had my moments of weakness with such little sleep. There were moments I literally saw red and lashed out in anger, there were moments I was so sad when I failed, I would openly bawl in front of a large group of people.

On one such occasion someone said “You can’t make a turnip bleed.” I basically took it to mean well you have cerebral palsy; you can’t be a good athlete.

I do not like to use profanity because it puts up barriers, but it took every fiber of my being not to use a word that starts with the 6th letter of the alphabet and the appropriate pronoun. (Believe me I am no saint just ask Joel or Sulli about the Germany game in 2008.)

That anger, that venom stayed inside for quite a few years. The problem remains the same, but how I choose to deal with it has changed. I will be positive and I will overcome it.

Some of you might be asking yourself why is Chris talking about this?

On Wednesday I realized something that I knew, but was unwilling to admit. I am losing function. These are not medical terms, but this is how I explain it. With cerebral palsy you have your base injury and then you have damage from your spasms. I realized on Wednesday that my spasm damage has reached a new level. I went to see my wonderful friend and massage therapist Linda because I have felt really uncomfortable for the last five weeks. My body has felt like a pretzel. It is uncomfortable to sit. (That’s a real problem for someone who uses a wheelchair.) I don’t get scared often by my crazy body, but I honestly was.

Anyways, Linda concluded that my abs were a big spastic mess and they were shifted to the left after accidently doing some uneven sit-ups. The fact that I was doing extra crunches to make up for some injuries earlier in the year was actually causing more harm then good. We were trying to figure out what was going on and then I just kind of blurted out “could I be losing function?”

She had me grip her hands. I couldn’t grip as hard as I used to. We did some things to test my abs, I couldn’t move as easily. There was nothing scientific to what we did, but the answer is pretty obvious.

I have lost function. The weird thing with CP is I could probably get most of it back, but at a cost. No more working out if I want to have looser hands and abs. I need to decrease my muscle tone so I have fewer spasms.

This is nothing new to my subconscious. It realized that after the Minnesota tournament I couldn’t grip as well, sometime during the off season my abs lock up more during pushing then ever before and I can’t use my middle fingers or thumbs for typing like I used to. However earlier I did not have the courage to ask this question.

Could this be it for rugby? That venom from a few years ago showed up in small doses and that is one of the reasons I have stayed in my apartment for the last two days. At some point early this morning I concluded this is a major crossroads. I had a choice to make. Is this going to make me bitter or better? I choose to make myself better. It is always the right decision, but sometimes it takes some time to see it.

By no means does this mean I have to stop playing rugby! It actually means quite the opposite; it means it is time to step it up. I have always worked hard, but I don’t know if I’ve always worked smart. I need to empower myself with more information by talking to doctors and therapists. Find that perfect amount of exercise where I’m doing the most good.

This is not going to help just me; this is going to help the entire wheelchair sports community! I am going to share everything I learn with everyone so we can see all the greatness that lies ahead. People with cerebral palsy can be athletes too. We just need to be trained according to our bodies and classed properly. I know this will not be easy and this will not happen overnight, but what great things happen overnight and painlessly?

I am thankful that I lost function when I did because I know it serves a greater purpose. I prayed for months ahead a time to be at my best for the Demolition Derby and I was able to play more in front of the home crowd then ever before.

I started feeling like a pretzel the next weekend in Raleigh. The universe works in mysterious ways, but in the long run it is good to you if you are good to it.

I would like to finish up by giving thanks.

Thank you Delvin for pulling me aside at the Raleigh tournament and telling me not to be afraid to handle the ball. I now know that I was very scared by what my body was doing to itself even though I couldn’t put it into words at the moment. You saw the fear in eyes before I even knew it was there.

A very special thank you to Eddie who saw my drop in function and has believed my class should change even before I did.

I would also like to thank my friends from Canada, London (GB) and Denver for pulling me aside and saying what they saw about my function level. It is truly selfless and shows how great our sport is.

Our sport is amazing. Let’s keep playing hard, having fun and changing lives! We can smash the stereotype of what someone with cerebral palsy is capable of and make that turnip bleed.

Thank you for reading
Chris

Go Pink Moped Go!

I was getting into my car on Tuesday night when what did I see?  (Can you guess from my ever so clever title?) :)  A pink moped cruising down Highway 31.

This was during rush hour traffic and if the pink moped was capable of staying at the same speed of its four-wheel counterparts it was not showing off that ability.  I could tell by the driving patterns of several other automobiles near the moped that they were annoyed, but that didn’t matter.  

The pink moped was just safely chugging along to its countless possible final destinations for that evening.

I really enjoyed the sight of the pink moped because it reminded me of how I feel sometimes and it also taught me a valuable lesson.

 There are times when I sense that some people think that I am corny or cheesy and I don’t fit into the normal traffic patterns of life.  It has taken me a long time to get here, but I are certain I am being genuine and true to myself and its okay to be the pink moped on occasion or everyday if that fits you and your dreams best. 

The last three plus years since I left Northwestern has been the farthest thing from typical I can imagine.  I now realize though that this unique detour has reconnected me to a path of some of my earliest dreams that I never even meant to pursue after my childhood.  Measurements like speed and age are all relative. 

Don’t worry if your current position in life doesn’t fit with others’ traffic patterns.  Do your own thing. Be the pink moped with pride!  Follow your dreams, work hard and be good to others and the ultimate traffic cop will look after you.  

Let the other cars honk as they speed past you on the short term, but a moped is just like a tortoise.  Slow and steady does win the race!  Let others honk their horns in disgust and zoom past you.  Don’t worry about what the SUVs and sports cars are doing.  The only gas mileage you need to worry about is your own.  I can promise you mopeds are fuel efficient, you have so much gas left in your tank you can go anywhere you want to with fuel to spare for places you haven’t even dreamed of yet!

Thanks for reading!

Chris

My Swiss Mistake

I’m currently having a blast at the Knock ‘n Roll wheelchair rugby tournament in Lake Worth Florida. I was very blessed to get an opportunity to play against the national team from Switzerland  on  Friday.

 On the first possession I was in the game I learned a valuable lesson that can be applied to life.

 My teammate Bob inbounded the ball to me and I took off down the court. Without going into great detail, I successfully crossed half-court, which in high-level games like this has been a difficulty for me in the past.

 I got a few quick pushes and then went blind to the right side of the court.   I only saw one very good defender between me and the goal. My ego got the best of me and I tried to make a one-on-one play. It all kinds of blurs together, but there was a collision where we fought for the ball. I ended up getting the ball back but in the process I went out of bounds and caused my team to lose the ball.

 I learned a valuable lesson in that one play and it can be applied to life.

 My problem was rooted in my improvement process and shortsightedness.

Going over the half court line is a much different endeavor in wheelchair rugby when compared to wheelchair basketball because of the rules that say who is at fault if you are to go over and back across the half court line.

 This is a situation that I had a very difficult time interpreting, up until a few months ago. I was so proud that I calmly got across half-court, I zoned out into a mode where I felt it was all on me to score and I would accomplish my goal.

 I do not consider myself to be a selfish player, but that was a selfish moment.

 It is a good reminder how both rugby and life are team sports.   Trying to score the goal with a flashy one on one play is like trying to accomplish a goal in a more challenging and brash manner. Many times if you calm down and take it one step at a time you can accomplish your goal just the same. You may not get all the attention, and it might take a little longer, but you can accomplish your goal all the same.

Some of the other things I learned are:

1.     Just because you make it one step further down your path, don’t go two or three steps ahead when you’re not ready.

2.     Keep your eyes open to the right side of the court. Just because you see one path to your goal doesn’t mean others aren’t available.

3.     Remember life is a team sport. We can all achieve more when we use the help of those around us.

4.      As we all continue to follow our dreams, the speed of the game will increase and raise our heartbeats, but we must have the mental strength to stay calm and use the same fundamentals we learned earlier on down our paths.

 I hope others can benefit from my international blunder. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such greatness and I honestly cherish my mistake.

If you find yourself struggling in an area that you really care about, take the time to love the activity and eliminate fear from the equation. If you embrace your mistakes and learn from them they are just steps on your path to your dreams. 

Thanks for reading

Chris

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

This post is dedicated to my Uncle Ralph. He sent this to me in an email today and I think it is great. With the forwarding nature of emails and the Internet I have no idea who the orginial author is, but he or she is a wise person and should be commended. The only editing I have done is to make it easier to read.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf ball first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked. The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend."

Please share this with someone you care about. I JUST DID

Thanks for the wisdom Uncle Ralph.

Thanks for reading everybody
Chris

The Big Ledger

I came up with this idea about six years ago and it just popped back into my head  out of the blue today. Nothing I will be talking about has any absolute nature to it whatsoever. These statements are all just ideas.

Digest whatever you like and if it helps at all, great. I'm sure most people are aware of the concept of karma, the idea of what comes around goes around and you cannot escape the energy you create. I know the law of attraction and similar ideas are absolutely true, but I've learned they don't work in a linear fashion and at times can be hard to predict.

From my own experiences and talking to several friends on this topic it is particularly difficult when you're good to a person or group and they betray that goodness with negative actions of some kind. In my younger days there is no question I did not deal with such situations well, but learn from my mistake and meet most actions with peace, calmness and positive actions.

As part of the condition of being human, petty actions happen all the time. Find  the courage and strength  to rise above it. 

A few weeks ago I came across a beautiful song by Kanye West called Street Lights.  Throughout the song there is a beautiful metaphor about faith, taking chances and possibilities  that we don't fully understand. A lyric that is constantly repeated is "Life's just not fair" and after many days of consideration I agree with Mr. West.  Life is not fair, but it is beautiful.   In a fair system 2+2 always equals 4, but that is not how karmic math works.  Karmic math is so complex we can't fully understand it, but we must have faith in it. 

As I am putting together my next post, which will be my last of 2008 I have brought myself to tears a couple times this afternoon.  I do not cry often, my eyes have been dry for the entire fall and winter, however I can't help it when I think of Brenden Foster.  He was so much smarter then me and he didn't get the chance to be a teenager. I figure Brenden was so much better then us God needed him to work along side him in heaven

I don't understand God's big ledger in heaven, but I am thankful for the beautiful page I have been given.  There is little question that Brenden's page did not balance, but it was one of the most beautiful pages in the massive book of credits and debits.

I ask that if someone wrongs you, let it go.  Sing your song and ignore the interference.  Let somebody greater then us do the accounting and focus on accumulating credits of good that make your dreams closer or helps your fellow man.

Lets start a new math together full of love and persistence!

Thanks for reading

Chris

Inexperience Is an Experience

This post is dedicated to my amazing friend Denny Muha. I had the honor to play  wheelchair basketball with Mr. Dennis for two years while at the University of Illinois. We bonded over our trips to the late-night cafeteria full of semi-philosophical conversations and a wide variety of Coca-Cola products.

As one of my last rites of living in Illinois I took a trip to Champaign about two weeks before I moved down to Birmingham in 2006. I had a wonderful time during the shenanigan filled weekend, but something Denny said during a mellow Sunday afternoon conversation has always stuck with me.

I was hypothesizing with Dennis about whether or not I had wasted my college years. I was a very scared kid in more ways than one during my college years. There was no question I was a driven person, but looking back I was more afraid to fail then desiring to win.

A perfect example  is how I studied 16 hours over a weekend for my first ever marketing test. This was not a final just a regular test. Other than eating in the cafeteria I locked myself in my apartment for the entire weekend.  I got 100% on the test, but could I have gotten 100 after studying for just 12 hours and then work on other skills during the other four?

When I had this conversation with Denny I was extremely concerned that my social skills were lacking in some way and going to a new place where I knew practically no one was daunting.

Denny was extremely wise in his response.  He said something to the effect "Sure you didn't go to many parties and some of your skills might be unrefined,  but your inexperience is an experience. You never know when something you read locked in your apartment three years ago could come in handy down the road."

 A specific example does not come to mind but I know Denny's words are the truth. His wise words  can be applied to so many lives. We can always attempt to rebuild a bridge  with someone, but outside of that there is little we can do to change our pasts. Use what you know to make the best future you can. No matter who you are you have experiences so use them to push forward and  make your dreams come true!

Peace and love to all my friends and a special thank you to Denny!

Chris

Reflections

During my November 2008 visit to Memphis I had the honor to go to the Stax Museum, which chronicled the once famous musical label based in Memphis.

The last exhibit I viewed I believe was a special exhibit that was completely based around photographs. Many of the photographs were set up in clear plastic frames which allowed for something very special to occur in my eyes.

On one wall was a picture of Martin Luther King Jr. on a perpendicular wall  was a picture of one of the first famous African-American disc jockeys.  I apologize I do not know his name at the moment.  However  when I looked at the disc jockey's photo a very unique visual experience occurred, because of the frames it looked like  you could see the disc jockey thinking about Martin Luther King Jr.

I'm sure this is not a stretch, I would bet the disc jockey thought of Dr. King often as he was also a leader and voice for the same group of people. I know I carry around many people with me everyday through my thoughts. There is no visual proof of it, but it is still a fact.

My point is simple. Never underestimate your own actions because you never know who is carrying you around in their head. As our legacies  live on in the form of other people's memories don't we all want to be remembered for positive actions of love like Dr. King?

Thanks for your love,  I love everyone

Chris

Clear The Mind & Push It Forward

I would like to dedicate the first part of this post to Yanik Silver, Steve Pavlina and Jack Canfield. I would like to dedicate the second part of this post to God and the universe to for continuing to inspire me with wonderful topics.

Clear The Mind

Right before Thanksgiving 2008 I was reading several pieces by the three previously mentioned authors and it allowed me to realize for the first time in my life how important it is to clear my mind. Paraphrasing something Mr. Silver said " you're better off finishing 20 things then working on and not finishing  50 things." Since the conclusion of my Thanksgiving holiday I have taken this to heart pushing forward to accomplish tasks. 

In congruence with this I started a Thought Book in August 2008. It is a modified journal that works the way my brain does. No one has ever really seen its contents and would have a hard time understanding it with my unique lack of penmanship. However both practices has allowed me to clear "mindspace." (Mr. Silver's phrase)

Quite ironically in my younger days I hated to write things because of my lack of fine motor skills.  This resulted in a pretty good memory that led my friend Josh George to give me the nickname Steel Trap.  At one point in my college basketball career I could tell you the score of every game I ever participated in. That skill has diminished significantly as I write more things down and use my brain more for creativity and less for memory.  The more I commit to clear out "mindspace" for creativity the more I am rewarded with wonderful ideas.

Push It Forward

Last night I was extremely diligent in clearing "mindspace". I wrote down every single idea I had in my head in the Thought Book. I even rewrote  a couple topics that have been lying dormant in my thought book for some time. I peacefully went to sleep and was awoken by loud thunder sometime in the five o'clock hour this morning. As I jolted awake I saw the words Pay It Forward accompanied by some unique shapes. I interpreted this as pay it forward in a new way.

Pay It Forward is a 2000 movie starring Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osmond where students are taught to do a good deed for someone else if they have been the recipient of a good deed.

I hypothesize  that we throw Pay It Forward into hyperdrive.  We Pay It Forward before we are ever the recipient of a good deed. This will create numerous spontaneous good deeds that will have an impact on society and the good karma will also impact the lives of those that are selfless. For my part, I have many objects in my parents home that I no longer need.  I plan to do a lot of donating to charity in the days to follow. 

Please only do what you feel is right, but I have little doubt that this simple yet powerful idea is due solely to my clearing of the mind. What would your mind be capable of today if you took the time to clear it?

Just a humble suggestion filled with love.  *Please know I am open to suggestions.  If anyone has a better name for Push It Forward or other ideas please feel free to email me at chris.rathje@gmail.com 

Thanks for reading!

Chris

Want to Be Healthy? Be Happy

For the rest of my life I have the lofty ambition to always be in a relatively good mood. Once again I humbly ask if an 11-year-old who is about to lose his battle with cancer can figure out a way to have fun.  Do any of us have an excuse to not be in a good mood? 

I am certain there are numerous medical studies  that back up my beliefs, but I'm not a doctor. I am a guy who sits around and thinks  and then he talks or writes about his thoughts.  The best way for me to get my point across is to give you some anecdotal evidence from my life.

To the best of my memory I have only been in a sustained negative mental state twice in the last 12 months. The first time was  during the middle of January. I just returned from a rugby tournament  in Florida  where I played below my expectations. I felt the germs in the air and I focused on sickness. Before I knew it I had a terrible cold and was bummed out that I was spending my birthday completely alone sick in my apartment.

I have little doubt I created the situation by negative actions.  The  second time I created a negative outcome for myself was when I decided to work out on a Friday night in late April. I became so frustrated on multiple fronts in my life that I became angry. This is a very rare occasion for me but there is no question my frustration level had reached a point where anger is the proper word to describe my emotional state.

Before I knew what hit me I created the worst sports related injury of my life. About eight months later I'm still recovering,  but I've learned a very valuable lesson and it will never be replicated again. I have noticed that when I tell people this story in person  some people believe me and some do not. I promise you that I speak nothing but the truth. 

On at least three occasions this past year I fought off colds before they even began with the health and strength of my thoughts. Always remember you are a child of the universe and with joy in your heart anything is possible.  Always focus on your health and strength.  There is no danger or negative consequence to being happy!

We can all live in health and happiness!

Thanks for reading

Chris 

Seeds of Imagination

 The picture you see here is the basis for my first consistent imaginary friend.   His name is Ruf Ruf and he is a country dog!

I think I've been a pretty creative kid  ever since I can remember but my first consistent imaginary friend was born on January 14, 1990, my eighth birthday. My parents took some of my classmates and I to Chuck E. Cheese and at the end of the afternoon my buddies put all their game coupons together so I could get Ruf Ruf. 

It was not in the cards for me to get a real dog so I was going to make one up! He slept with me that very first night and our adventures began in my dreams. 

I know this is an area where kids are superior to adults. Kids are not afraid to think outside of the box to make life more fun. Life is supposed to be fun!  If an 11-year old  can remember to have fun and give back to others when he is losing the battle with terminal cancer. Do any of us have an excuse not to have fun?

I will concede that the path I have chosen allows me a great deal of freedom to think outside the box. Coming up with Wilson the writing worm a few days ago was  just another day at the office for me, but I'm sure everyone of us can find three minutes a day to make something new that gives us chuckle.

I didn't think I would bring this up for a long time but the wonderful voice inside my head is telling me that it is a good idea. At my elementary school it was customary for kids to eat outside on the playground when it got warm enough.  It was one of the first days of playground lunch in fourth or fifth grade and I had finally achieved enough upper body strength where I was able to get in and out of my chair off the ground with no assistance.   I decided it was time to use this skill to sit down on  the asphalt in the customary lunch circles with everybody else. As soon as  I touched the ground a whole lunch circle of several kids decided to get up in unison and leave me sitting by myself for lunch. This was a very scarring experience but a beautiful flower arose from it. I vowed never to make fun of anyone for something they couldn't control.

In all honesty I have failed this promise to myself on several occasions especially around my early teen years however it gave me the freedom to make many jokes and tell many stories about complete figments of my imagination. Who could be offended when I make fun of the invisible kid named Wolfgang!

My point is no matter what your age is have the courage to think outside of the box and be silly. However I beg you please do not be negative or gang up like the immature ways of our past. Create a new joke that can be shared with any friend. Inclusive is a word that bonds us all together.  Responsible joy is the name of the game!

The most important story I've shared is the selfless act of my birthday party attendees. They worked together to pool their resources  and plant the first seed in my beautiful imaginary garden. Thank you everyone for cultivating this land with me. We will change the world together with our creations!

Thanks for reading!

Chris

Happy Boxing Day!

Today in many places throughout the world December 26 is known  as Boxing Day. The general idea is to box up things you no longer need and give them to the less fortunate. I think this is a wonderful idea and the spirit should be adopted every single day.

Of course there is logic that some are more fortunate than others,  but I believe we all have our needs that only others can provide. Someone who has a large amount of monetary resources can still be broke inside.  Please do not get caught up that giving has to involve tangible items. 

If  you give your ears for listening or your mouth for a friendly greeting  you can start a trickle-down effect that cannot be measured. Who knows? That friendly greeting to a busboy could lead to increased productivity which then leads to a promotion. Never underestimate your own ability to give.

 I know I constantly question my own talents, but I also know I carry sunshine with me wherever I go and whatever the weather is outside. There is no talent involved whatsoever.   I simply  have a smile on my face and a willingness to say hello to whom ever I come across.

Please get ready to give today and everyday.   There are no boxes necessary!

May we all be blessed today and everyday!

Chris

Everyone Has Two Ears For Reason

I'm not really sure the first time I heard the phrase "God gave you two ears  and one mouth for a reason."   However that was a pearl of wisdom my mom instilled in me at some point in my childhood and it has stuck with me ever since.

I've tried extremely hard to be a good listener throughout my life.  From my feedback from the universe it seems like I do an okay job. People have a tendency to tell me things. Sometimes I want to hear them, while other times I would rather not, but I take a certain level of honor that people feel like it is safe to share their thoughts with me.

I know I fail when it comes to the idea behind the quote. I do not listen twice as much as I talk but I always try to listen as much as I talk, if possible. I believe in other posts I've shared how important  it is to be there for your fellow man and communication  is one of the simplest and most fundamental tools for helping out a friend, a foe, or a  stranger. 

For  long stretches of my life I was convinced I was some kind of social mutant who had such problems communicating with his peers that no one else could understand, however I eventually realized  all of us have some kind of problems and we are better off communicating it with someone we trust. We all feel more free when our secrets aren't secrets anymore. As my closest friends will attest my confidence since starting the blog is probably at an all-time high. I am who I am and there's not many secrets anymore. It's out there for anyone to read which is the same thing as someone to listen.

Have the courage to listen because it will make society a better place for all of us!

In the past I've been complemented on my ability to get things done and it has very little to do with me. I just follow the lead of wise people before me.  Treat all men and women exactly the same, with the highest respect.  Always say please and thank you  to the doorman, the janitor, or the waiter.   Take the time to say hello to those that most ignore and they will help you in time of need. If you ever build a rapport with someone  have the strength  to serve those who served you by listening.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!  I appreciate it greatly.

Chris