Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Apology to the Utrecht Scorpions

I had to do something yesterday that I never like to do. I went back on my word.

The thing I love to do more then anything in the world is play wheelchair rugby.

I love to do it so much I will go anywhere on the globe to play it. After being a guest player for South Florida, Manitoba and Midwest Rebels I realize the power of playing rugby anywhere I can.

After the December 2008 tryouts for Team USA 2009, I was under the impression that there would be no Team USQRA for 2009. So I started searching for off-season playing opportunities on the Internet. I found out about the tournament in Amsterdam and was soon shooting many e-mails back and forth between Europe and Alabama.

The Utrecht Scorpions graciously offered for me to play with them in Amsterdam in mid-June. I was very excited about the prospect and had full intentions of going up until a couple of days ago.

Team USQRA has yet to be selected, but if I am blessed enough to be selected I will be in Brazil at the same time that Amsterdam tournament is going on. My biggest dream in life is to put on the red, white and blue. I must set my mind for it and have no barriers in the way. I'm guaranteed nothing and open to whatever the universe has to offer.

I am writing this to send the deepest apology I know how to the Scorpions. I also want them to know that I will do whatever I can to help them out. If there is any experienced 2.0-3.0 that would like to go to Amsterdam in mid-June please contact me at chris.rathje@gmail.com and I will relay information.

Scorpions, thank you for your generosity I will do whatever I can to help you.

I hope you realize my heart was pure, but circumstances just didn't work out.

I wish you nothing but the best and hope we can work together some other time.

Thanks for your time
Chris

The Michigan Lessons

This one is dedicated to my coach Kevin, my teammate Bryan, and my buddy Matt from TNT.

On last Thursday I headed to Michigan with the attitude “Let's go have one of the best weekends of our lives boys!” Even I didn't realize how accurate I was.

The first lesson of the weekend came while Lakeshore and TNT were waiting for our flight to Michigan in O'Hare. Both teams were sitting there waiting for our flight and I was sitting right next to Matt.

He had a hard spasm and the bag he was carrying in his lap fell to the ground. I knew the situation very well. Whether it's the contents of my wallet spilling all over the grocery store floor, the mail spilling all over the place or knocking the ball out of my own lap, I have felt ashamed of my spasms thousands of times in my life.

This is why Matt gave me such a valuable lesson. When I picked up Matt's bag from the ground he just smiled and said “Thanks!” No shame or embarrassment. Matt knows who he is and knows a little spasm doesn't define him.

I am a very stubborn person when it comes to certain things. I wouldn't be a fraction of how successful I am without that stubbornness, but I also know it leads to flaws. I'm always hungry to prove I can do things myself even when if I just asked for help it would make my life easier.

I'm not a bad person because I can't pick up coins from the ground quickly and I'm not a weak person for accepting help. God gives us talents and flaws for a reason. We must rely on one another to get the most out of life.

I try extremely hard to practice this in my life. I hope my love and support for my teammates shines through. I hope I am productive voice from the bench and court.

It warmed my heart to see us play so well against Ohio to start the weekend off right and I was really excited to get out there and play myself. I was frantic trying to force my body to do things it didn't want to do, but then Kevin told me one of the wisest things I've ever heard. “Only focus on things you can control. Right now you can’t control your body.”

I just naturally assume I can control my body, but Kevin is right on the money. My hands and torso do not appreciate how hard I have pushed them since 2000, they are rebelling and telling me I need to get smarter.

Something I realized over the last several months is to bring your fear out into the light. That way the fear cannot get you later on. I openly admitted to my team how scared I really was about what my body was doing. I even shed a few tears and Bryan picked me right up

He said it was time for “No Fear.” And he was right!

Over the course of the weekend Bryan and other vets showed me how to conserve energy and become a smarter player. Talking calmly and confidently really does work better and saves a lot of energy. There are still times I talk too much, but I now know why and will discuss further in a later post.

I'm really blessed to be part of such an amazing team and I'm really proud of the entire heartland sectional. I think all eight teams that were there our on their way up. No team there was perfect, but we are all improving from where we began. After all life isn't about perfection, life is about growth. The heartland is growing and I proud to be involved in that growth.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for selecting me to get the sportsmanship award. I would have been extremely embarrassed if I received an award like that in the past. I would have thought that getting singled out like that was somehow wrong because of my low self-esteem, but I now realize its okay to be me.

I mess up all the time, but I still try to let the light that shines in my heart become visible to everyone else. Everyone else makes it so easy. I get to be a member of a special team, who gets the privilege to play a special sport.

Less than 1% of the population understands what it is like to be us. We might wear different colored jerseys during the game, but I've yet to meet an opponent. We are all family!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

100 Passes

I did a light pushing and ball handling workout in the Lakeshore Fieldhouse last night.

One of the main weaknesses of my game is passing. Getting my arms and hands to do what they need to do when I want them to do it. So before I left for the night I decided to get a hundred clean passes and catches off the wall.

I was quite tired and sore from a weekend of rugby with my hands and abs yelling at me like never before, but that is just temporary. Being a champion in everything you do lasts forever.

My first attempt at a hundred ended at 10. My second attempt ended at 18. My third attempt ended at 37. My fourth attempt I got in a really nice flow and made it all the way to 61 before my mind slipped on a catch.

I got so angry at myself I couldn’t think straight and I could only muster four on the fifth attempt. I had a flash of a self doubting mental thought, “just give up it doesn’t matter!”

We all control our own lives and for many I’m sure it doesn’t matter, but nothing matters more to me. I have places to go in my life and I need to become a better player to make that happen.

I regrouped mentally before my right hand slipped on number 26 of the sixth attempt. I started damming my own arms for not doing what I wanted them to do, but that was a horrible attitude. My mind always controls my arms if I have a firm enough mindset.

On the seventh attempt I finally hit 100 and I was in such a good flow I hit 200 without a flub of any kind. 200 is my new standard and by sometime soon a thousand will be. Set your mind for what you really want and go get it!

I am far from perfect I really wanted to quit after attempt four and attempt six, but my mind knows what is coming and would not let me stop. KNOWING where you are going before it even seems rational is how people make things happen.

At 22 I doubted my dreams as a nine-year-old because I couldn’t push with a ball in my lap. At 27 I now realize my nine year old self was brilliant because it had the guts to say someday Chicago is going to host the Paralympics and I’m going to win a gold medal.

I constantly say life is not about perfection, it’s about growth. I fell 6 times and wouldn’t let myself quit. On the seventh attempt I got twice of what I wanted.

Have the guts to say what you really want and go get it. This is not an easy process, but it is a simple one. Expect more from yourself then you ever thought possible. If you follow your dreams, put forth maximum effort and uplift others. Anything is possible!

I challenge you to love something in your life you never loved before. Man I loved when my arms didn’t work the way I wanted them to because it showed how strong my mind really is.

Love your life and bless the world!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sondtrack For My Mind!

I just finished putting together the perfect soundtrack for how I want to set my mind for this weekend.

1. Break Away by Kelly Clarkson
I don’t like how I have been treated most of my life by most people. I choose to declare that I no longer subject myself to that anymore. I break away from those feelings today and everyday here forward.

2. Bigger Then My Body by John Mayer
We are always more then our limitations. I have been weak in the past. Time for a change. At some point this weekend I am going to throw a bad pass or miss a ball. One play never defines me. WE ARE WAY TO BIG TO LET ONE PLAY GET US DOWN!

3. The Remedy (I Won’t Worry!) Jason Mraz

Have Fun! There is nothing that is going to happen to us that we can’t handle. It has been said, many times before I think way too much. Time to let the brain be quiet and just love everybody and everything.

“You Can Turn Off The Sun and We Are Still Going To Shine!”

I don’t know why God gives me such good music to play in my head. I know the universe knows how thankful I am and how I am constantly striving to improve myself and empower others. I fail so often and am humbled, but I set my mind for what I really want and try ” to shine some light on my friends!”

More on this topic to come in the future, but I realized something today sitting in O’Hare Airport. The ordinary requires extraordinary effort for me. I don’t know anyone else who took a decade to learn how to drive. Now that the extraordinary has become ordinary for me I can tune into the exact life I want. God has planted huge dreams in my heart!

I am not appreciating the light that has been given to me unless I push the envelope in a way that pleases the universe.

I am confident for the first time in my life. I’m going to make things happen!

Thank you everyone! Life is a team sport and you are my legendary team! May we all grow and be blessed.

Thanks for reading!
Chris

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St. Patty’s Blessings Brought to You by Brenda and Renee

God works in mysterious ways. This piece is exhibit #1. I received and replied to emails from two wonderful people today.

My fantastic cousin Brenda and my equally amazing friend Renee, everyone knows about my beloved Brenda from yesterday, but here is a little about Renee.

First of all Renee is not a person, she is a petit blonde force of nature. The word can’t is not in her vocabulary.

The strongest memory I have of Renee is when we were both refused interviews by the same Fortune 500 Company in our final term at Northwestern. I do not like to drink, but the song Alcohol by Brad Paisley rocked out for a reason from my dorm room on that night. As I wandered to different apartments and pubs that night many people were around, but only Renee understood why I wasn’t my normal chipper self.

I was deeply wounded by the rejection. From our best statistical analysis from Nevin’s Pub we determined we were the only two students who applied that did not get interviews.

Really? We were the bottom of the barrel?

Nope! Not even close! Someone made assumptions about us that were false based off a piece of paper.

Lesson 1: Always give somebody the benefit of the doubt. Diamonds in the rough are real and your patience will be rewarded.

Brenda the next lesson I was trying to write last night and couldn’t think of the right words.

Lesson 2: Other people’s rush judgments are your blessings, have the courage to see it in the moment.

Even back in Evanston in October 2005 I dreamed of Lakeshore, but didn’t have the courage to just say it. God sent me clues like the Alabama quarter I received at the Century Theater when I uncharacteristically didn’t have exact change.

I know Renee loves Michigan because of Shawn and the hairless wonder dog Ziggy. I am pushing towards the only things I have ever wanted since 3rd grade in Alabama. None of this would be possible if we were given the chances we had earned. Everything happens for a reason, it sometimes takes a while for the story to unfold.


Lesson 3: Find a way to have fun even if it seems silly! If it makes you happy, do it! Clap your hands, make a noise or dance an Irish jig!

Lesson 4: I am far from perfect, but I’m still having a blast. Face what worries you in the light and it can’t get you in the shadows!

Lesson 5: Sometimes the steps are painful and tedious along the way. The days that hurt or are confusing I need to pray harder and believe in my dreams even more!

Lesson 6: This is not a birth right. It can be taken away at any moment if I stop following my dreams, stop giving maximum effort and stop being good to others.
Lesson 7: Next time you see somebody in need; help them even if you don’t think you have the time. God will make up the time and then some!

This final one is dedicated to my baby cuz, soon to be college graduate, but it can be applied to anyone of any age!

MAKE THESE THE BEST WEEKS OF YOUR LIFE! Laugh Harder! Smile More!
Nothing ever ends unless you want it to. Time is a limitation of a human mind. College is not a time; college is a feeling!

I honestly feel like I have the courage to be three ages all at once and none of these are my age according to the calendar.

I am four because I am so happy about everything! I remember not being able to lift my arms at all and then all the sudden I saw the reflection in the mirror at therapy. First the right, then the left, it was really ME LIFTING MY ARMS!

I am twenty because all I really care about is the sport that drives me. I’m at the end of my sophomore year of college. I know the sport now, but I need to keep pushing more. I know the sacrifices that need to be made, but I must stay disciplined and focused. It is up to me where I end up.

I am ageless because God takes the little amount of talent I have earned and magnifies it to help others through his words.
Life is an ever evolving document. Things will change someday. I will meet people that will continue to change my life. I will have more responsibilities, but I will also have more resources! My inner ages will have to adjust, but joy will always drive me.
Yeah Buddy! Think Green! Be Happy!

Brenda & Renee are very special people that God wants me to help. God has also taught me when he gives me a gift, share it with it as many people as I can.

I hope you enjoyed my blessings!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Brenda Lessons

I am an only child. The closest I come to blood siblings is my first cousins. I am the oldest cousin on the Rathje side and youngest cousin on the Nagel side by a considerable margin. The second youngest cousin on the Nagel side, Kim was already driving by the time I was born. I love my Nagel cousins, but I did not grow up with them.

My cousin Andy was born four days shy of my third birthday. I have so many amazing memories with Andy from his fascination with vacuum cleaners and airplanes when we were little to us getting amazing seats at Wrigley Field together as adults, but I do not remember the day he was born.

However by the time Brenda came around over two years later, I was about to go into kindergarten. I will always remember June 9, 1987. I remember being fascinated by the concept of Brenda.

I thought to myself “Look, there’s a brand-new baby and I’m related to it!” It was an absolutely incredible experience.

Growing up as a kid I was the weak one in the family because I lacked so much physical ability. I wanted to help out my younger cousins, but didn’t know how.

Now that we are all young adults I realize that physical strength is still important, but not as important as mental and emotional strength. I would like to empower all recent college graduates and soon-to-be college graduates. This one is for Andy and Brenda.

I originally saw this as several pieces. It started several weeks ago via a Facebook conversation with my grad school friend Casey. It grew two weeks ago when talking to Brenda and was finished in my mind this afternoon after writing another Facebook message to Brenda. Thank you for inspiring me to write this Brenda. Here are five lessons I would like to share.

1. Eliminate fear, love everything in your life. So far in my studies of life I found that every emotion really boils down to love and fear.

Sometimes fear is real, but most of the time it’s not. If you are scared about something go out and do something about it or just have faith pull you through.

Right now my biggest fear is driving. I wish I could rely on my body more as far as spasticity, coordination and reaction time. I know when the time is right, I will be blessed with the right driving teacher and I will eliminate that fear. For now life goes on well up and down Highway 31 as I launch my writing career from my apartment. I pray every time I get into the car. This love and fear concept took me a long time to understand. Spend some time thinking about it and what is right for you will come to pass.

2. Decide the odds don’t apply to you!

I flat out love Grey’s Anatomy. I could care less what the current drama is between McDreamy and McSteamy, however it is an extremely well-written show and there is always two or three wise nuggets of life in every episode. This week’s episode toward the very end had a conversation between Little Gray and Izzy. Izzy has her 5% to deal with and Little Grey’s Mom somehow died with a 0% chance of that happening.

Somewhere along the line of applying to Northwestern I was told they were going to take five students straight out of undergrad. To get one of five spots seemed daunting at the time. They ended up taking 7 of us. Statistics can change! Nothing is certain. If thoughts of the economy freak you out. Do what I’ve done. Shut off the news. I do not control the economy. Try to take care of what you can control and know you can do whatever you want.

3. Follow your heart and make sure your brain is listening. Joy is like a compass and your brain is like a GPS system.

It will take you exactly where you want to go, but you have to give it the right address. If you don’t like where you end up enter a new address, but don’t stay there. Most great journeys only reveal themselves one step at a time. Learn to be okay with this.

4. Treat everyone well and take extra care of the ones that love you.

A couple months ago I was looking for an answer to a question for several months. Out of the blue a person who has treated me like a pile of garbage for several years now just e-mails me the answer to my important question without even realizing that I was looking for that answer. I doubt this person even knows how much their actions hurt me because I rose above the situation so well. If that is not an example of karma, I do not know if one exists. I have been trying for a couple weeks now to come up with the exact phrasing for number 3 with the idea that it would be its own separate piece. I know the only reason I was able to come up with the exact phrase was because I was trying to uplift my lovely baby cousin this afternoon via Facebook. God gives us gifts if we look after those we are supposed to.

5. Follow your dreams, work hard and treat other people like you want to be treated.

I have said this so many times, but it needs to be repeated. I have seen so many people do the last two without doing the first one. Why do so many people ignore their hearts? The universe gives us personalized maps and we sometimes try to look at other people’s. Don’t follow the money! Follow the love; if you work hard at something you love the money will follow. Money after all really is just green paper.

No matter what age we are we are responsible for our little corner of the world. If everyone takes care of their own corner, all the sudden the world’s problems are lessened. This is a reality in our lifetime and any lifetime. The purpose of life is not perfection it is growth. Anything is possible!

Thank You Brenners, Thank You Everyone!
Chris

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Are You A Champion of Life?

Below is a modified piece that I just finished writing for the Illinois Men’s Wheelchair Basketball Team who lost in the National Championship Game yesterday. Please keep in mind that the vast majority of the piece was written to a team that just had a major disappointment.

Before I begin I would like to congratulate first year head coach Jeremy Lade on winning the national championship. Jeremy is a year older then me so we had competed against each other for six years over the course of high school and college. Even though he was a far superior player to me he never belittled me. He is a gentleman and a gym rat. Even though I love orange and he loves purple we are both champions of life.


I would like to congratulate you on a valiant effort yesterday. My scouts in the crowd (my parents) told me I should be very proud of my alma mater. Sometimes having a winning attitude doesn’t always result in a win; it is one of those intrinsic challenges in life that so many don't understand.

This is a detour, this is a choice, are you going to allow this to make you bitter or better?

I ask that you take a couple days to answer this question. Flush out the emotions of disappointment first. I know there were times when I wanted to cry after a loss and forced myself not to. Emotions are not good or bad; they are just emotions. Something in your brain chemistry wants you to feel that way. When I'm sad or angry I like to think of it as little gremlins dancing around in my head. If I hit them or try to force them down they're going to get angry and stick around longer. If I hug the gremlin all the sudden it is subdued and leaves me alone.

The only way a 40 minute competition defines you, is if you let it. Be bold! Erase the bad elements of yesterday and remember the good ones. Set your mind for what you want today and everyday.

Have the courage to set your mind to what you really want and do not accept anything less. Boldly proclaim what you want and share it with whoever will listen! If you are consistent with your thoughts and TREAT PEOPLE WELL the universe rewards you so, so well. Don’t worry about what is cool; worry about what is right.

It’s up to you! Do you have the courage to lift up somebody else that other people perceive as weak? During my years in Champaign I had the lowest function on the team and it was definitely not cool to be associated with me. Many of my teammates would help me out when other people were not around, but only one person would help me out no matter who was around, Pat Anderson.

When I was a freshman I had horrible balance and a chair that was way to big for me. A typical day for me was six falls between missed transfers and hitting cracks in the sidewalk etc. In my first few weeks in Champaign, I fell while many of us were hanging out at the gym. Many laughed at me, some made wise cracks, but only one person helped me back up on that day. I thought to myself “Oh my God, why is Pat helping me? He has a gold medal.” Pat has gold medals because he is a great person, not the other way around.

Pat was also not afraid to be associated with me. Back in my early years at U of I we traveled in 15 passenger vans. They are a fine way to travel unless you sit in the middle seat in the middle row. Because of my low standing on the team I got that spot for many trips early on in the season. I felt like a sardine, but I was still an Illini!

My hips hurt badly sitting in this seat, but that is not what bugged me. What really bugged me was my inability to get my balance therefore making it very tedious to read. I have no idea what possessed Pat to do this, but one early morning at rehab as we were loading up Pat requested that I sit up front with him. That became my spot for the rest of the year. Pat's generosity allowed me to get at least an extra 40 hours of studying in during the rest of the season. What makes Pat special is not his physical attributes, but his tenacity, his practice habits and his confidence. Pat is the exact same person whether he's talking to a movie star or a homeless person. He offers himself to the world and doesn’t worry what others think.

Being positive and having true confidence are paramount qualities for a championship heart and mind. Know you can do it and raise the bar as high as you possibly can. If you set your mind properly the right things just seem to happen. Eating right, sleeping more and studying more just become routine, not obligation.

When you lose you tend to get angry. I ask that you never practice in anger, only practice in love. Love allows you to get better. Fear might work in the short run, but never in the long run.

Please learn from my mistake. I attempted to make Beijing in field events. There were long stretches of last year I worked out 10-12 times a week and I feel confident in saying there was stretches I was the hardest working athlete at Lakeshore for any sport. I had a fatal flaw though. I worked out angry and scared. I was jealous of fellow athletes. That had no bearing on my life, but I was weak and a BIG gremlin was born.

Since I worked out so angry it should come as no surprise that I hurt myself. I made myself train through it and ended up pulling my C7 vertebrae out of alignment. I hurt myself so badly it took 8 whole months to heal. I found out in June 2008 that I was not going to Beijing. There was part of me that was so defeated, but I tried as hard as I could to stay positive and work on other aspects of my life like writing. When people left Lakeshore to go to staging in Colorado I was relieved. As far as I was concerned Beijing was over. A couple of days later a member at Lakeshore asked me if I was going to Beijing. I said no and had to explain how I did not make the team. She asked me if I plan to go to London and instead of saying my typical response of hope so, I flat out said yes I am going to London.

If you want something bad enough set your mind for it. If you're consistently working hard and helping others I promise your dreams will come true!

Just to let you know I practice what I preach this is what I set my mind to everyday. I will be a successful writer who will eventually help millions of people. I will go to both the London and Chicago Paralympics with the highest aspirations. I will do everything in my power to continue the Lakeshore dynasty. To me it's not about being good, it's not about being great, it's about being legendary.

So you have a choice to make, are you a champion? It’s up to you. Can you keep your head up when something goes wrong? I know you all have the capability to be champions because you are at Illinois. You have the right stuff, but are you willing to set your mind right, to stop wondering and start knowing you are champions before it happens? I loved basketball and I love rugby even more. It is the vehicle I choose to express myself in, but it does not define my life. I know I am a champion in life because of how hard I work and how well I treat other people.

So I ask again, are you a champion? Are you willing to do the hard things when you know they're right? Are you willing to be nice to anybody, no matter who is looking? Being a champion isn’t easy, but man is it worth it! I am so proud to be an Illini! Winning games is fun, but it's not what's most important. Being a champion of life is what is most important. I know Illinois has produced more life champions than any other program. Please keep up the tradition. Don't wait until you graduate, start today! Set your mind, work hard and be good to everybody and the rest just sort of flows.

Life is beautiful, enjoy the ride!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Power of Openness and Belief

When I came to the conclusion that the possibility that I had lost function was very real, there was 36-48 hours I was feeling sorry for myself. I am no saint smiley pants. I’m just a human being that realized love and acceptance is a more fun journey then fear and secrets.

I have lied to myself since October about what a real possibility function loss is. I was scared to tell my own team because they might see it as a CP guy who was just complaining. “What does he know anyways he’s not a real quad.”

The combination of my discomfort and my massage therapist Linda forcing me to face facts, but you know what happened when I shared the truth with the world, the road to recovery began. My neighbor Kelly who is a part time athletic trainer at Lakeshore stopped by and showed me some new stretches for my hands. The first stretches hurt in a bad way, but the second stretches made my hands feel a little better. As I continue to work on my computer I feel little jolts of energy and warmth on the left side of my back. I have no rational explanation for this. I would like to think it is others well wishes. Some might call it prayers.

When it comes to religion I interchange phrases. God, the universe, positive energy is all the same thing to me. I don’t worry about labels. Just believe in the power of good things because if enough good things happen it turns into a great thing. If enough great things happen society changes, if enough societies change the world change.

Things happen to us, but things don’t control us.

The blessings just keep adding up for me.

Thank you for your prayers
Chris

Friday, March 13, 2009

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I Don’t Care How Long It Takes, That Turnip is Going to Bleed!

I was blessed to go to the University of Illinois. I did not have the raw materials to be successful there, but I wouldn’t allow that to stop me. I was scared, I lacked a lot of life skills, but I had one thing going for me, I was determined.

For a myriad of reasons it took me a lot longer amount of time to do my homework then the average student. An average night for me was going to bed at 1 AM, and getting up at 4:45 AM. The only way I survived those first five semesters before I had a better system down was a lot of sleep on the weekends and occasional naps. As you can imagine I had my moments of weakness with such little sleep. There were moments I literally saw red and lashed out in anger, there were moments I was so sad when I failed, I would openly bawl in front of a large group of people.

On one such occasion someone said “You can’t make a turnip bleed.” I basically took it to mean well you have cerebral palsy; you can’t be a good athlete.

I do not like to use profanity because it puts up barriers, but it took every fiber of my being not to use a word that starts with the 6th letter of the alphabet and the appropriate pronoun. (Believe me I am no saint just ask Joel or Sulli about the Germany game in 2008.)

That anger, that venom stayed inside for quite a few years. The problem remains the same, but how I choose to deal with it has changed. I will be positive and I will overcome it.

Some of you might be asking yourself why is Chris talking about this?

On Wednesday I realized something that I knew, but was unwilling to admit. I am losing function. These are not medical terms, but this is how I explain it. With cerebral palsy you have your base injury and then you have damage from your spasms. I realized on Wednesday that my spasm damage has reached a new level. I went to see my wonderful friend and massage therapist Linda because I have felt really uncomfortable for the last five weeks. My body has felt like a pretzel. It is uncomfortable to sit. (That’s a real problem for someone who uses a wheelchair.) I don’t get scared often by my crazy body, but I honestly was.

Anyways, Linda concluded that my abs were a big spastic mess and they were shifted to the left after accidently doing some uneven sit-ups. The fact that I was doing extra crunches to make up for some injuries earlier in the year was actually causing more harm then good. We were trying to figure out what was going on and then I just kind of blurted out “could I be losing function?”

She had me grip her hands. I couldn’t grip as hard as I used to. We did some things to test my abs, I couldn’t move as easily. There was nothing scientific to what we did, but the answer is pretty obvious.

I have lost function. The weird thing with CP is I could probably get most of it back, but at a cost. No more working out if I want to have looser hands and abs. I need to decrease my muscle tone so I have fewer spasms.

This is nothing new to my subconscious. It realized that after the Minnesota tournament I couldn’t grip as well, sometime during the off season my abs lock up more during pushing then ever before and I can’t use my middle fingers or thumbs for typing like I used to. However earlier I did not have the courage to ask this question.

Could this be it for rugby? That venom from a few years ago showed up in small doses and that is one of the reasons I have stayed in my apartment for the last two days. At some point early this morning I concluded this is a major crossroads. I had a choice to make. Is this going to make me bitter or better? I choose to make myself better. It is always the right decision, but sometimes it takes some time to see it.

By no means does this mean I have to stop playing rugby! It actually means quite the opposite; it means it is time to step it up. I have always worked hard, but I don’t know if I’ve always worked smart. I need to empower myself with more information by talking to doctors and therapists. Find that perfect amount of exercise where I’m doing the most good.

This is not going to help just me; this is going to help the entire wheelchair sports community! I am going to share everything I learn with everyone so we can see all the greatness that lies ahead. People with cerebral palsy can be athletes too. We just need to be trained according to our bodies and classed properly. I know this will not be easy and this will not happen overnight, but what great things happen overnight and painlessly?

I am thankful that I lost function when I did because I know it serves a greater purpose. I prayed for months ahead a time to be at my best for the Demolition Derby and I was able to play more in front of the home crowd then ever before.

I started feeling like a pretzel the next weekend in Raleigh. The universe works in mysterious ways, but in the long run it is good to you if you are good to it.

I would like to finish up by giving thanks.

Thank you Delvin for pulling me aside at the Raleigh tournament and telling me not to be afraid to handle the ball. I now know that I was very scared by what my body was doing to itself even though I couldn’t put it into words at the moment. You saw the fear in eyes before I even knew it was there.

A very special thank you to Eddie who saw my drop in function and has believed my class should change even before I did.

I would also like to thank my friends from Canada, London (GB) and Denver for pulling me aside and saying what they saw about my function level. It is truly selfless and shows how great our sport is.

Our sport is amazing. Let’s keep playing hard, having fun and changing lives! We can smash the stereotype of what someone with cerebral palsy is capable of and make that turnip bleed.

Thank you for reading
Chris

My Favorite Team

Earlier in the week I wrote a piece for the Illinois Men’s Wheelchair Basketball Team because they are preparing for their national championship competition this weekend. After they really liked what I wrote I decided to give something else a try. If you find this the least bit beneficial great, if you don’t like it just ignore it.

Looking back on my eleven years of basketball my favorite team to be a part of was the team when I was a freshman in college. We ended up winning the national championship that year, but that is not what made it my favorite team. What made it my favorite team was who we were and how we accomplished our goals. The University of Texas-Arlington had beaten us two out of three games during the regular season. The losses included a 50 point beat down (Missing several players from our team because of the Paralympics.) and only the second loss at Huff Hall in the Coach Frogley era.

They beat us in our place in February. What were we going to be able to change by March? I know we practiced harder in the weeks that followed, but the difference was marginal. Then the most intense week of practice I have ever been a part of occurred. Coach Frogley had us prepared in every way, but it was the players who decided to step up their preparation. I do not remember that week of preparation as stories. I remember it as a feeling; this intense certainty that we were going to win the game no matter what. We were set to overcome any obstacle; it was all about us. At 19 I thought this feeling was common. I now know it’s not. It’s something very special.

UTA shot 55% from the field that day. Illinois shot 63% and won the tenth championship in program history. I did not play in the game, but I was honored when my teammates decided that I should cut the first string of the net. When Coach Frogley cut down the final string it sunk in. With the net in hand, I realized we were champions! As Illinois goes for there 12th championship in program history, it makes me realize how blessed I am.

It also makes me realize how that is no longer my favorite team. My favorite team is the one I am currently on, the 2008-2009 Lakeshore Demolition!

I have found it is way harder to be a TEAM after college because of work and other life responsibilities, but we still figure out a way and this is because of the greatness of our coach Kevin Orr.

When you play for Kevin it’s not all about lollipops and rainbows. There have been times he has made me sad and times he has made me angry, but I know he loves me and all his players.

There would be no Lakeshore Demolition without Kevin Orr. He built our program on guts and determination. He had the courage to move over 700 miles away from his friends and family and over the years he built a dynasty from nothing.

I will ever be indebted to Kevin because he encouraged me to make the same 700 mile journey about fifteen years later after many were unable or unwilling to teach me the game because I had cerebral palsy.

Before I came to Birmingham I was the “most spastic player in college wheelchair basketball”. Over the course of two years, I became a wheelchair rugby player. I would not be a wheelchair rugby player without Kevin Orr. I would not be a writer if I wasn’t a rugby player first. I’ll let you do the math.

I enjoyed the other teams I have played with while I have been down here and really miss the friendship of Dan, Josh and Brandon, but this team has something special. The younger players have all stepped their games up while the veterans continue to give wisdom and perform consistently.

Kevin, Sulli, Bryan and Willard have been here since the beginning. They are legends for what they have created and are great examples of what is possible. Joel, Delvin and our newest player Kevin Kramer represent what is yet to come. With great athletes and great people anything is possible.

We begin our playoff run next week in Michigan and hope to continue it in Louisville in April. Our story has yet to be written, but I feel Lakeshore 2009 is more special then Illinois 2001. I love my team! I am hopeful we will find that feeling that Illinois 2001 possessed.

I wish everyone the best as the playoffs are going on this weekend and in subsequent weeks. I look forward to making my team better and wish everyone else the best of luck as they try to do the same.

Can I ask a favor? If you see fit could you please say a prayer for Illinois and Lakeshore. The power of positive energy is very real. I could have gone many places to play sports, but Illinois and Lakeshore gave me the courage to release myself from a net of fear and allow me to share my gifts with the world!

Thank You Frog, Thank You Kevin, Thank You Everyone!
Chris

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What Kind of Writer am I?

My friend from graduate school Pushpendra Mehta is working on his second book. Push has decided to get my take on some things for inclusion in the book. I feel Push and I show a small glimpse of what is possible in the world because even though we don’t see eye to eye on some topics I respect Push greatly because I know his heart is filled with love and he believes what he says.

It also happens to be his birthday today. Happy Birthday Push!

Push wanted me to write a bio. I don’t know if this is what he had in mind, but here is my journey as a writer.

When I was in elementary school I thought being able to write children’s books would be a great job. I wrote stories about an imaginary rabbit and an imaginary dog that eventually was named Ruf Ruf. I became discouraged when no one could read my handwriting, thus keeping my story inaccessible to everybody else.

When I started to understand how a library worked. I thought, “Man, it’s going to weird to see RAT on the side of my book.”

I sure didn’t show any talent for writing in sixth grade when this A and B student got a C- on his book because I over used the word things.

Sometime in high school I decided I wanted to be a sports journalist. I even wrote a few game reports for my school’s website.

I became discouraged when I talked to a local journalist who told me how hard his job was. Suddenly I let fear take over my decisions and decided I would study business.

Writing was not a big part of my life in college. I took four writing classes over the course of eight semesters and somehow I was completely oblivious to the fact that those writing classes and my higher-level marketing classes made up the majority of my memories in the classroom.
After my undergraduate years I decided marketing as I knew it wasn’t creative enough for me. My next stop was the Integrated Marketing Communications program at the Medill School Northwestern University.

I started really learning about writing at Northwestern even though I didn’t realize it at the time. Marketing Communications is more about the ability to convey ideas then anything else. Public Relations really boils down to treating people well. Convey a clear and honest message and be good to people.

My advice is learn wherever you can. Truly grasping communication for the first time happened in a café in France. Understanding the power of silence and white space happened in a copyrighting class.

Suddenly my formal education comes to a close and all I know I want to do with my life is move down to Birmingham and play some wheelchair rugby. I sit on my butt for nine months waiting to figure out what to do. All I pretty much do is read books and watch DVDs. One night I’m reading this book about remarkable people. I’m on this chapter about Mark Twain and it hits me like a lightning bolt. Mark Twain was a premature baby and had a hard time sleeping! I could write a book too!

Just as quickly as I came up with the idea I dismissed it. If I wrote a book who would want to read it?

Long story short Birmingham has been a wonderful journey, but I have fallen on my face so many times. I started trying to write my first book about a month after I moved down here, I was so embarrassed, so scared. For a long time I only told about three of my friends what I was working on while sitting in my apartment. I gave up at some point on my first attempt.

In the time span of a couple of years I tried and failed at doing online research, selling vitamins, a custom shirt idea, search engine optimization and oh yeah six other attempts at writing books. I used to be so embarrassed by my writing and I don’t know why. I figured it was something cool people did; something creative people did, and I never categorized myself as either of those.
Through all those failures I gave myself an education. I made mistakes and I learned. I read a lot. I read the bible, I learned about the law of attraction, Joel Osteen showed me it was okay to give praise the way I wanted to give praise.

I took the skills IMC gave me and learned to see the world in a new way. I have learned so many life lessons from the music of John Mayer and Jason Mraz. Somehow, someway their way of looking at the world rubbed off on me. Lines just pop in my head all day. They come from all genres of music, movies, books and life experience. I can’t write a piece of music, but I can write a piece for the web.

Nine short years ago I was scared to talk to most of my classmates because I was sure they didn’t like me. Now I have the confidence to proclaim to the entire world I think just like a world class rock star and I’m proud to be that bold! As John has taught me have the courage to be “Bold As Love”!

I now know you don’t have to consider yourself to be cool or creative to be an artist, you just have to believe in yourself and find your medium. I fully believe God wants every single one of us to create. Art can be anything. Broaden your definition and keep your mind open.

What kind of writer am I? I’m a human being just going down my path. There are more then seven billion paths out there for the more then seven billion people out there in the world.

Sometimes I stumble and sometimes I fall, but I always get back up eventually. My human siblings please remember to love yourself today and everyday. Growth is the objective, not perfection. Anything is possible!

As always thank you for reading!
Chris

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Darwin Was Right . . .

But that’s not the whole story. Darwin was right because only the strong survive, but the way he presented his conclusions indicated that there must be weak creatures for the strong to dominate.

That might be how the animal kingdom works, but that doesn’t mean human kind has to be run like that.

God gave us big brains, free will and dreams planted in our hearts for a reason! The universe wants us to step it up. Only the strong survive, but we can all be STRONG.

Let’s set our minds for success! The beautiful thing about the dreams planted in our hearts is that we all have different dreams. So we can all be champions in the fields we choose from our hearts. As my wonderful teacher Joel Osteen says God plants dreams in our heart for a reason and he gives us all the tools to see them come to pass.

Sometimes barriers arise and we fall down, but please always have the courage to get back up. Some think it is weak to fall down, but this is not the case. It is only weak to stay down. Getting up is the strongest thing anyone can do! If you set your mind for strength no obstacle is too large to overcome.

Strength does not mean perfection. I know I am strong, but I mess up in ways that frustrate me to the core.

Just this evening I had a hard time catching the ball at rugby practice. I know I let my cerebral palsy programming take over waiting for the ball and wondering if I was going to catch it instead of flat out willing myself to catch the ball. I can use positive energy to catch the ball, but instead I let myself slip back into old habits.

I compounded the problem by getting mad at myself. I know better then that, but I got caught up in the moment. I couldn’t see the blessing in the moment, but I see it now. I know I will be hard at work in the Lakeshore Fieldhouse today because I messed up so royally. I expect my next tournament to be my best to date. It will be in part because of the mistakes I made tonight.

Evolution did not happen over night and neither does true strength. Having a truly strong mind is a long time commitment that is worth it in any way you can think of.

Are you strong? Do you want to be strong? It’s all up to you. Choose to be strong. I promise you its worth it.

Thanks for reading!
Chris

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Shine Some Light on It

This morning I was up in the wee hours. I only had one light on in my bedroom and the rest of my apartment was dark. As I was leaving the bathroom in semi darkness I flashed myself a quick smile in the mirror and freaked myself out.

I had some major self esteem issues growing up so I never thought I looked good at all, but even in that storm of self doubt I always felt I knew how to present a good smile, which allowed some of my genuine nature to shine through. This long standing belief being challenged is why I became so uneasy in the early hours this morning.

The smile that was reflected back to my eyes did not match what I have come to expect. My smile looked so fake, glassy and posed. It bothered me to the core. I asked myself has my smile changed? Have I changed?

Then I realized that my smile did not match what I have grown to expect because my face was so poorly lit. There was only direct light on half of my face. I was not seeing a clear picture because I did not have enough light to see properly.

I think this happens a lot in life. At times, people are too quick to judge and you never really know if you have enough light for the situation. First impressions can be misleading, a social butterfly could become Debbie Downer if her cat just died that morning and that happens to be the day you meet her for the first time.

This is not just a case with people; it is also the case with situations or decisions. Ask the universe or God to shine light to get a full perspective. The light will grace your situation.

Learn from my mistake. If you see something that you don’t expect make sure there is enough light to get a clear view of what is going on. If you conclude there isn’t enough light turn another switch on. If you can’t find another switch have faith that it will appear.

Light is like love, we can always find more, but we might have to wait for the sun to rise.

Strive to look at things from several angles and have confidence in your observations when it feels right.

We are all wonderful! Sometimes life tricks us into believing lies, but I challenge you to have the faith and courage to smile anyways.

Get your cameras ready. Make sure the flashes are on and smile big!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Brain Poppings Test Run

Hey Everybody! I wrote pretty much the whole day today through a combination of emails, USQRA work, and a targeted piece that won’t be on the blog and many random sentences here and there.

I really wanted to share something with everyone, but a regular piece just wasn’t going to happen. Some days I start lists of ideas. Sometimes they are useful sometimes they are not, I thought why not share them with my readers and see what they think.

The late great George Carlin had sections in his books entitled brain droppings. They took on a very similar format, but I don’t like to think of my wonderful gifts from the universe as waste, so I changed the title up. The first half is thoughts I have been pondering or ideas that just popped into my head. The second half is quotes that have caught my attention recently.

Brain Poppings March 7-March 9

The most any person can do is speak and act on his or her truth. We would be able to accomplish so much more in this world if we just embrace what really is rather then guessing what the right answer is. The truth is always the right answer.

I read in a recent Joel & Victoria Osteen electronic devotional that said a new study concluded the average young child laughs 200 times a day. The average adult only laughs 4 times a day.

- Sign me up for preschool for the rest of my life. :) I challenge us to raise the average today and everyday. Decide to laugh 5 or more times today.

- Why is it considered mature and cool to keep joy inside while people outwardly complain about the Mun-days and how tired or sick they are as an acceptable convention of society?

Call me a geek if you want, but I’m happy and I know it. (Clap. Clap.)

You have a lot more time to observe the landscape while pushing up a hill when compared to pushing on flat ground.

You always control your mind. Don’t waste any energy wondering “what if”. Know you will be successful.

“It is always about the number of times of you get up; it’s never about the number of times you fall down.” -Modification of famous multicultural proverb.

Love BIG goals and embrace them. They will make you better even if you don't reach them exactly.

Outside forces are never the challenge. Being your best is the ultimate challenge and we can do it when we set our minds right.

Before we can eat a great meal, we must set the table. Enjoy setting the table and be thankful for your hunger being satisfied before you get to eat.

“I’ve got a plan, I gonna find out just how boring I am and have a good time.”

-John Mayer New Deep (One of my favorite songs of all time.)
I interpret this to mean don’t worry about being cool; just be happy.

“You can turn off the sun, I’m still gonna shine” -Jason Mraz The Remedy

“It’s takes a hole to make a mountain.” -Jason Mraz Life is Wonderful

“To be a prisoner of something means to always be attached to it. Be a prisoner of hope.”
Joel Osteen

“There comes a time in everyone’s life when all you can see are the years passing by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone.”-Rascal Flatts I’m Movin’ On

“I can’t sleep, I’m dreaming way too loud.” -Eli Young Band So Close Now

“You do know that any time you decide you want to be different you can just start, right?” - John Mayer via Twitter March 1st 2009

I hope you enjoyed this experiment. I would like to do this more often because I feel sometimes having the nuggets of inspiration without any further details could be most helpful. Please let me know yeah or nay.

Thank you so much for the continued support! Thanks for reading
Chris

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Family Is . . .

Today is a pretty big day for me. I went to my local bookstore and bought the book where my first published story resides. If you want to see it as ink on paper look for the book Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More Edition. My story is #58 The Triplet Raised by Wolves on page 200. If anyone just wants to see it electronically send me an email at chris.rathje@gmail.com and I will send it to you.

I think my story looks at the idea of family a little differently then the norm of blood relations. Is this a new idea? No, but somehow I think it is more acceptable in today’s American society. The idea of family has shifted in so many ways.

Every person on this planet has billions of brothers and sisters because we are all in the giant family of human kind. My simple advice is approach everyone in a loving manner and make sure to be there for the people who have been there for you.

It is a simple idea that rings of beauty and truth, but it takes patience and a moment of pause to understand, forgive and accept everyone.

Know that family is about experiences and loving actions, not just who you share genetic material with. You don’t have to be a Rathje or a Nagel to be my relative. Have your arms open to accept the wonderful people that God places in your life. Nine years ago I didn’t know I would have brothers with the last names of Perkins, Taylor and Smith, but I do.

Thank you to everyone that contributed to this dream. This is just one step on a long journey. I must take a moment to really cherish and appreciate this accomplishment because I sometimes forget to enjoy the smaller steps on the big journey.

Can I ask a favor? Can we all take a moment to let out a laugh or put a smile on our face?

After all we are one big happy family who will make this world a better place. Let the labels go and just follow the love!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Hug It Out

I am starting to write this at 12:30 AM. Unlike most of my owl like writing activities I want to go to sleep, but I won’t be ready until I have written and posted something.

I hit a wall big time last week. Hurt my back after a missed transfer and literally made myself sick from worry about the book. I have the sunshine of the universe and a big happy God on my side, but they don’t always eradicate gremlins that might lurk somewhere deep inside.

So many of my issues have been dealt with in the last few years, but nobody is perfect. Long time worries, fears and negative beliefs create unwelcome visitors in our brains. They can take on any image you wish, but I was taught about thinking of them as goats or gremlins.

In many societies around the globe we are taught to fight or run away from our problems, but the key is to hug our problems. Accept that goat as part of you, love it and someday soon it will just go away. If the problem is in the dark ask for light and surround it with the purity that is given to everyone.

We can overcome anything if we set our minds right. It might not happen when we want, but the concept of time is overrated. No need to hurry to worry. Have the courage and conviction to see past the 3D world and know that our dreams will come true if we keep faith and take the actions to make them happen.

At 27 I feel so immature and simultaneously mature for my age, but whose norms am I subscribing to on this topic anyways?

I honestly feel like a four year old at times because of the way I get shear joy out of the simplest things and I have no problem sharing it with anyone that will listen.

This proud part time preschooler is starting to learn the power of hugs. A four year old will enthusiastically hug anyone. Could we take a lesson from this?

Think of a world where we can accept everyone and anything inside of us. Utopia is not the goal, but growth is. Love is the key, one hug at a time.

Thanks for reading
Chris