We Always Control Something

It has already been documented that I was up in the wee hours of the morning today. I strongly believe one of the reasons I couldn't sleep was because I was meant to see a Tony Robbins infomercial somewhere around 4 a.m.

I know Tony is a gifted man who inspires many. He said something on the infomercial that sparked this idea. Tony said that the reason people accept circumstances that they don't want to is because people are concerned with uncertainty.

This made me think, sure there are many things that are uncertain in life, but we must remember that we have some level of control in everything we do. No matter what is going on in the environments around us we always control our thoughts leading up to and during any situation. Also no matter what occurs in the outside world we control how we react to any stimuli.

I have been so blessed in recent years to be released from so many of my shackles of fear, but I'm still human. One area where I still encounter fear and uncertainty is my driving. As I've written previously, the stoplight before I go on to Highway 31 has driven me bonkers at times. The last time it did this I wrote about it. Here is how the situation broke down when you discuss elements of fear, uncertainty and control.

The Fear: I felt nervous just sitting at the stoplight. This nervous feeling really boils down to fear due to traffic whizzing by me while I sit in the car on a declining hill.

The Uncertainty: The unconscious thought I was having while sitting at the stoplight was I hope my brakes keep working while I’m sitting here with traffic driving by.

The Control: I know my hand is safely on the brake and I control the car. I can be patient any other time so I just need to calm down and be patient at the red light. When the light turns green I know I can safely make the turn.

I hope everyone can see how the process can be broken down to fit any situation and eliminate fear. I am sure there is someone saying there are situations where we have no control because so much ambiguity exists.

My answer to that is we can always control our thoughts and that makes a difference. Expecting to fully control our lives might not manifest instantly, but I challenge anyone to realize how much control they do have and make some momentum towards your dreams today!

Thanks for reading
Chris

This is What I Think About at 3 AM

I am working on about four different pieces that are in different stages of development. None of these are ready to share, but this simple thought is.

When we have nothing in a certain part of our life, something will do.

After enough somethings only the right thing feels like the proper path.

Many stop after one something or another because we grow weary or get scared.

I pray anyone who reads this has the courage, vision, and fortitude to make the right thing happen for his or her journey.

Your gut will lead the way and mistakes are bound to happen, but accept those beautiful lessons and keep moving forward!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Strolling Down a Familiar Street

I have come to a point in writing Don’t Be Afraid to Eat Soup with a Fork where I have put together an outline and I am trying to figure out how the bricks fit together and what additions need to be made. I am toying with the idea of adding a section about reviewing the basic lessons we learned as kids.

A wonderful episode of Scrubs reaired last week entitled my ABCs. It is a great example of how much more we can enjoy our tomorrows by reviewing the simplest lessons of yesterday.

The basic premise of Scrubs is that it tells the tales of what goes on at Sacred Heart Hospital through the eyes of the main character JD. JD often daydreams, but what made the daydreams of this episode special are they included Muppet characters like Oscar the grouch, Grover and Elmo. This back to basics, Sesame Street inspired episode had three main lessons to ponder at the end.

Always play nice

This is an easy lesson to remember and understand, however the practice of it can sometimes be difficult. I try to keep in mind that no one else controls how nice I am to them. I believe karma has a way of rewarding people who are consistently nice. Sometimes the rewards do not come instantaneously, but they do come to those who learn to share the sandbox well.

Always try your hardest

Again so easy to understand, but sometimes it is much harder practice. I think sometimes people slip up because the bar to try your hardest is not set there by society or some other outside force, but I challenge anyone to set the bar as high as they possibly can for themselves. I think we all have an inner sense of when we are trying our hardest and when we are not. Another reason sometimes people don't put their all behind something is because they have failed so many times before. Believe me; it is always about the eight times you get up. It is never about the seven times you fall.

It’s okay to cry

This is personally the hardest lesson for me. Many times I force myself to be happy when I'm really not. I think it is important to recognize when you are feeling sad and to cry if you feel like crying. Do what you need to do, and recognize that crying can be a form of love and happiness. When the tears have dried up it is time to play nice and try your hardest again!

Never underestimate your ability to learn something important from any source.

Thanks for reading
Chris

A Quick Thought on Building

I was writing an email today and this organically came out when my fingers met the keyboard.

“I understand Rome can’t be built in a day, but it can’t be built until construction is started.”

To expound on this, take hold of the dream you hold most dear and move towards it today. Even if you have no idea what direction to go, write down the goal confidently and the path will illuminate itself with time and effort.

Focus on today, enjoy today. Put joyful effort towards today’s step on the path or today’s brick in the coliseum. Sleep easy at night eliminating fear so you can take one more step or make one more brick for tomorrow.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Some New Rathjeisms

My friend asked me to write something up for him. In the process here are some lines that just came out of me. They are gifts from God and if anyone can find any use out of them, I consider that to be some cool beans. (Thanks Frog for that saying!)

The way to succeed in life is to have the courage to aim high and to keep enthusiasm to keep fighting towards your dreams even if the road to success is not a straight line.

Stay positively vigilant with your thoughts, if you keep a great attitude regardless of your surroundings the winds of chance will eventually blow in your favor.

Fighting is not about gritting your teeth and pulling your self through every moment. Instead have a smile on your face and charge through any difficulty that might arise on your journey. The key is not to curse the difficulties in life, but instead be thankful that you have the strength to overcome them.

The right path will illuminate itself if you follow your dreams, stay positive and work well with others. The shadows can be long, looming and confusing, but believe in the power of light. No matter what, expect to see it!

Haven’t done a piece like this in a while, I hope it finds you well.

Thanks for reading
Chris

My Highway 31 Theory Revisited

I can see Highway 31 anytime of day right outside my front window. The speed limit of the cars zooming by is supposedly 40 miles per hour, but when I am sitting still it seems so much faster. At times, nothing brings me more apprehension then sitting at the long red light waiting to make my left hand turn on to Highway 31.

I wrote a piece several weeks back on Highway 31. I am proud to report I have grown so much in a few simple weeks. I understand so much more about love, fear and how so many things in life are neither good nor bad, but I still found myself being nervous at that darn stoplight today.

Here is the process I found myself going through today:

I recognized that I was feeling nervous sitting at the stoplight today.
-It is pretty hard to fix a problem unless you know it exists.

I asked myself why was I nervous.
-The universe shows its beautiful ways when we have the courage to ask a question, it might take some time, but the answer will come to us if we stay positively vigilant with our thoughts.

I listened to myself ask the question and I was able to break down a cloudy confusing question down to some simple points.
-First I have my hand firmly planted on the brake so I wasn’t going anywhere. If I am firmly in my location there is no need to feel apprehensive even if cars are whizzing by me and I am sitting on a hill. Second waiting doesn’t bother me much any other time so I shouldn’t let it bother me now. When the light is red I just need to patiently wait my turn. When the light is green it is my turn and I can handle that too!

Even though this is based around how one certain intersection and I do not mesh well I hope others can see that the lessons learned from this simple situation can be applied to other things that happen in this beautifully odd dance we call life.

Something happened today at the stoplight that I had never experienced before. The wind was blowing quite hard and the lights were slightly swaying back and forth. I used this visual as a reminder how the winds of chance are always blowing no matter how simple or complex the situation is.

It is up to us through our thoughts and actions whether or not they will be winds of favor. We all have the power to make wonderful things happen, but it makes life easier when we expect those gusts to help us out.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Not in the Flow?

I have so many topics on my list of things I want to write about today, but the words just are not coming to me. Some might blame the prevailing grey skies that are looming over me. Some might call today “gloomy” or “bad”, but I am starting to learn not to label things. This is especially true when using such simple polarizing language like good or bad. Just how so few occurrences in life are black and white so few things are good or bad.

Even out of the worst situations imaginable like 9/11 or the Holocaust so much learning and love was born from the horrible suffering that millions had to encounter. The positive always wins out no matter what the situation. It accomplishes little to worry or complain about the present.

Take action towards the future you want to create today! Even if you can’t see any possible action you could do today, plan for the future. Write down what you want to accomplish in the future and write it in a way like you already accomplished it. It is one of those tricky things in the universe; believe your dreams before they happen, but be willing to let them go if they don’t come true.

I always try to keep the Garth Brooks lyric in mind. “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Set goals today even if it feels gloomy. Because even if things don’t work out how you had them planned in your mind’s eye, you are still moving towards greener pastures.

Yesterday I had about twenty minutes to write two emails. Both emails were pretty straightforward, but I just slowly meandered into writing the first one and it took about fifteen minutes. The next email, even though it was of the same complexity level it only took me five minutes and I didn’t cut any corners. I created the goal with my mind and my actions followed through without even paying too much attention to the clock. This is a simple example, but when we can master how to take a step a long journey just became more managable.

So I ask again am I in the flow? I wanted to write and I did write; just not what I had planned for this morning. It is a good reminder to be thankful for God’s gifts even if it’s not exactly what you had ordered up.

Conventional wisdom says a great day is 72 and sunny, but without the base of a gray rainy day how could we ever have rainbows?

Thanks for reading
Chris

Humble Questions

I have recently learned that in order to find answers to my questions I have to ask the questions to others and not just ponder them in my own head.

As a person who is not geographically connected to so many people I care about I frequent facebook. I am honestly fascinated when I read someone’s facebook status that says they are bored. This is because I get lonely or confused, but never bored. My mind is always full of thoughts and activities.

I just couldn’t get into a good flow for writing yesterday so this resulted in four ideas for writing topics as layovers from yesterday. By midday today two more ideas to write about had popped into my head and I’m not even including the idea I’m writing about.

This is such a blessing, but how do I calm my mind down so I can finish the book? I think asking is a good start, but I still have another problem. How do I write a book which is a linear object when all I see is circles in how everything is connected?

I am considering a choose your own adventure like format where people can decide his or her own journey through my thoughts. A fun thought for the day.

Here’s something to chew on for today. There are no hard and fast rules to life. Do what feels right to you and don’t worry about what “they say”. Go after your deepest dreams. Even if they seem impossible today, head in the right direction and who knows what all your tomorrows will hold?

For practicality and clearness of communication I will probably finish writing my book in a linear fashion, but isn’t it fun to ask questions? We can do it about anything at anytime! :)

Thanks for reading
Chris

Every Car in the Lot Has Damage

My beloved Honda Element has many imperfections and the vast majority is due to its owner and primary driver. The Element has countless scratches on it because of the clumsy nature in which I get my wheelchair in and out of the car and several slips of the hand while I have the key in my hand resulting in me accidentally keying my own car. It also has some damage from a small accident I had in November.

I discovered a new blemish on Saturday when I realized there is a tear in my upholstery of the driver’s seat. By the size and shape my best guess is that the footplate on my wheelchair ate a chunk of the upholstery.

I think it is a natural reaction to be frustrated and slightly angry with myself for all the unintended damage I do to one of my most important and prized possessions. However I noticed something yesterday when I drove out of the parking lot. The big black truck that was parked right next to me had worse damage on its doors and bumper than anything I had on my car. As I drove further down the parking lot I realized the small tan car a few spots away looked like it had been in an accident too. It looked like there was a lot of paint missing and it had some damage as well.

People are just like cars, we all have our imperfections. It is natural for us to recognize our own imperfections most easily because we drive around with them everyday, but it is important to recognize the damage that exists from all angles.

Something that I find beautifully liberating is the fact that no one is perfect. Even if someone has the prettiest face or the perfect body, we have no idea what is going on inside of them. I feel this is why it is paramount to be kind to everyone. Your random nice words could be exactly what the inner mechanic needs and you might never know that was the catalyst for the repair.

On the reverse side have the courage to go up to the person that looks a little mentally slow, the person who has a constant frown on their face or even someone who is crying because you never know when a few simple words could start the ignition down a better road. If you try to go on a test drive of a damaged car and it just won’t start, move on and realize that the problem is with them and not with you. You will get rewarded for your attempt with future incentives that might not be easy to see in the three-dimensional world.

I am still trying to learn more about damage everyday. I have it far from figured out, but I humbly submit this for your consideration. I think it is important to accept the fact that everyone of us has damage, but only in the sense that we know where to tell the repairman where there is a hole in the upholstery. How will we ever know what to fix unless we see it first? The positive thoughts of God and the universe can repair anything! Most things we really care about are not quick repairs, but if we all keep faith the key scratches will get smoothed away one by one.

Even though I momentarily get mad at myself for the damage I cause my beloved Element, at the end of the day I am thankful for the journeys it takes me on and the blue book values of others will never be a concern.

Thanks for reading
Chris

A Day to Celebrate Love

A holiday based around love is the most beautiful celebration I can think of. Love is the most important feeling in life. It is paramount to love yourself, love your dreams and love the important people in your life.

Something odd in society has happened where an anti-Valentine movement has arisen. Some media outlets will lead us to believe that it is some new phenomenon, but my hypothesis is this feeling and actions are as old as time.

What it really boils down to is jealously, which is fear based that we will never find the love which others have.

I know how horrible Valentine’s Day used to make me feel in high school and college. I felt like such a social reject with all the outward displays of affection that surrounded me.

I never got to experience a real valentine of my own, but guess what? No one made me feel that way I chose to buy into what society said about the day and then I projected feelings of inferiority on to myself because I lacked the ability to experience something on an arbitrary date.

Choose to love yourself everyday: No one controls how you feel about yourself except you. Remember your positive attributes and good deeds everyday.

Have you every known someone who rushes into a relationship just to have someone on Valentine’s Day? Don’t sell out yourself or your dreams to match some arbitrary date on a calendar. Make sure everything you choose to do is out of joy.

Don‘t let others’ ideas bring you down.

Have you ever heard of someone being uninvited from an event because someone deemed it couples only and single people weren’t allowed. I have heard of this and I think it is one of the rudest acts. Just because someone is single doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy good food or music. If you would be happy being surrounded by your friends whom all happen to be in relationships I say embark on the evening. If someone uninvites you that is their problem and you have better things to do to pursue your dreams.

Be Thankful

Even though I find myself single for the 27th time in a row on Valentine’s Day I am extremely thankful for the wonderful people in my life and the wonderful year I have had since we last celebrated cupid’s arrows and pink frilly hearts. I say all us single people should send out a prayer to all those who have found love over the last year and those who continue to embark on the journey of true love hand and hand that their love continues and grows.

I firmly believe if we stay positive while going down the path of our dreams the winds of favor will gust in our direction and true love is just around the corner!

Love is the most powerful and beautiful force in the world. I humbly ask that you find a way to celebrate everyday. Love is joy, passion, appreciation and compassion. Love is never fear.

Have the courage to love everyday and celebrate love everyday!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Friday The 13th: The Luckiest Day of the Year?

I am not writing this piece because something remarkable happened to me yesterday. In fact, I had a rather typical day. Yesterday I did not encounter any black cats, broken mirrors or unexpected cracks in the sidewalk. I sincerely dislike the idea of Friday the 13th because it is a holiday based in superstition, which really boils down to being afraid to break some arbitrary rules.

As part of my belief that we can all recalibrate our brains for the better I ask that you never celebrate fear, eliminate instead.

One way to eliminate fear is to laugh in its face. If you look at the superstitions with fun and joy, then I say go after the celebration of Friday the 13th with full blast!

In full disclosure this kind of celebration does not come easy to me. I would not enjoy joking around about superstitions, but this goes along with the beauty of life. Everyone is there own radio station or beautiful color of paint. What works for you does not have to work for me. As long as we celebrate life each and everyday that is all that matters.

I am sure there are many people out there who think Friday the 13th is the luckiest day on the calendar even though conventional wisdom denies them that belief. The beautiful thing is we all have the ability to set the tone for Friday the 13th or any other day on the calendar.

Please remember you are the only person that controls your thoughts. Completely ignore society if it does not match your dreams. We can make the most out of each and every day because it is truly a present. If we all stay vigilant with our thoughts and follow our guts we never have to experience a negative circumstance again.

This does not mean we will always have things go exactly our way in the conventional sense; however it does mean that we can choose to not label things that happen to us as negative or bad. We can wash out negative thoughts like unlucky Friday the 13th and just go about our daily lives as we come one step closer to our extraordinary dreams.

Who knows? By the next time Friday the 13th comes up on our calendars we will have built up so much positive momentum and good fortunate we can all call Friday the 13th the luckiest day of the year.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Embrace the Shades of Gray

Much of our society revolves around absolute questions of yes or no or either or, but most of the beauty of the world does not reside in colors of black or white. Believe me yes or no has its place; no computer would be possible without binary code. However, most of the beauty of the world resides in the seven billion shades of gray that are between white and black.

Most of the time absolutes like black or white are easiest to deal with, but usually the easy solution is not the best solution. It is easiest to cut something out of your life or fully accept an idea, but comprise, subtlety and openness to new possibilities are wonderful tools of the universe and mankind.

I have been thinking about the shades of gray for a couple months now, but watching one of my favorite shows in the wee hours of the morning brought me to the point where I had to write about the shades of gray today.

One of my favorite television shows is Friday Night Lights. It tells the story of a small Texas town where life begins and ends with football, however the show does a beautiful job of portraying tales of life and simply uses football and what surrounds it as a backdrop.

In the most recent episode I have seen, the head coach is having a real dilemma on who to start at quarterback. His two choices are the senior Matt, with vast experience and knowledge or the young gun freshman JD, who has some of the best raw talent he has ever seen. He does not want to crush his incumbent senior by benching him in the middle of his last season, but he also does not want to throw his young freshman into the fire before he is ready. As far as conventional football wisdom goes he has to pick one player or the other. However Coach Taylor creates a beautiful new shade of gray!

He decides that his two quarterbacks will alternate offensive series. His senior quarterback will run the I formation where knowledge and poise are paramount while his freshman will run the spread offense where his athleticism will shine through.

This is such an unorthodox strategy any opposing defense won’t know what hit them. Coach Taylor opens the door for new possibilities because he was willing to make the most of his resources and he had little care for what conventional wisdom says.

Have the courage to make your own shade of gray each and everyday! Decisions have to be made where yes or no questions have to be answered, but you do not have to hold on to that for every question.

Do what you want to do, be who you want to be and follow your dreams! Recognize the beauty in each shade of gray and realize we can paint more beautiful paintings in life when we have more shades of paint to choose from!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Go Pink Moped Go!

I was getting into my car on Tuesday night when what did I see?  (Can you guess from my ever so clever title?) :)  A pink moped cruising down Highway 31.

This was during rush hour traffic and if the pink moped was capable of staying at the same speed of its four-wheel counterparts it was not showing off that ability.  I could tell by the driving patterns of several other automobiles near the moped that they were annoyed, but that didn’t matter.  

The pink moped was just safely chugging along to its countless possible final destinations for that evening.

I really enjoyed the sight of the pink moped because it reminded me of how I feel sometimes and it also taught me a valuable lesson.

 There are times when I sense that some people think that I am corny or cheesy and I don’t fit into the normal traffic patterns of life.  It has taken me a long time to get here, but I are certain I am being genuine and true to myself and its okay to be the pink moped on occasion or everyday if that fits you and your dreams best. 

The last three plus years since I left Northwestern has been the farthest thing from typical I can imagine.  I now realize though that this unique detour has reconnected me to a path of some of my earliest dreams that I never even meant to pursue after my childhood.  Measurements like speed and age are all relative. 

Don’t worry if your current position in life doesn’t fit with others’ traffic patterns.  Do your own thing. Be the pink moped with pride!  Follow your dreams, work hard and be good to others and the ultimate traffic cop will look after you.  

Let the other cars honk as they speed past you on the short term, but a moped is just like a tortoise.  Slow and steady does win the race!  Let others honk their horns in disgust and zoom past you.  Don’t worry about what the SUVs and sports cars are doing.  The only gas mileage you need to worry about is your own.  I can promise you mopeds are fuel efficient, you have so much gas left in your tank you can go anywhere you want to with fuel to spare for places you haven’t even dreamed of yet!

Thanks for reading!

Chris

Hi Everybody!

My three weekends in a row of rugby tournaments have come to a close. I showed myself glimpses of my desired future playing well against great competition, but believe me I had moments of extreme ugliness that was some of my worst play in this or any other season. I move on and am thankful for the wonderful learning opportunities. I am also thankful that I have grown closer to my team.

I am very excited to be spending the next several weeks in Birmingham. It will give me plenty of uninterrupted time to finish my first book. God willing I will have completed my entire draft within the next few weeks.

I received word that Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and Multiples edition should be hitting shelves about March 10, maybe even earlier in some stores. My first published piece Triplet Raised by Wolves will appear in this book.

I have been writing a lot, but many of my ideas feel too nebulous to share. I promise to write a few things in the next several days.

As a way to close , here is s lesson that the universe works in mysterious ways. While on a flight a couple weeks ago I got in a trance and wrote seven pages handwritten. I was so deep into my writing I completely forgot I was on an airplane. This was an amazing occurrence to me because flying used to be my deepest fear.

I suppose anything is possible when we listen to our guts and are thankful for the gifts the universe has given us.

I hope this finds you well and we can continue to grow together as I hop back on the blogging horse!

Thanks for your patience with me.

Peace & Love
Chris