The Brenda Lessons

I am an only child. The closest I come to blood siblings is my first cousins. I am the oldest cousin on the Rathje side and youngest cousin on the Nagel side by a considerable margin. The second youngest cousin on the Nagel side, Kim was already driving by the time I was born. I love my Nagel cousins, but I did not grow up with them.

My cousin Andy was born four days shy of my third birthday. I have so many amazing memories with Andy from his fascination with vacuum cleaners and airplanes when we were little to us getting amazing seats at Wrigley Field together as adults, but I do not remember the day he was born.

However by the time Brenda came around over two years later, I was about to go into kindergarten. I will always remember June 9, 1987. I remember being fascinated by the concept of Brenda.

I thought to myself “Look, there’s a brand-new baby and I’m related to it!” It was an absolutely incredible experience.

Growing up as a kid I was the weak one in the family because I lacked so much physical ability. I wanted to help out my younger cousins, but didn’t know how.

Now that we are all young adults I realize that physical strength is still important, but not as important as mental and emotional strength. I would like to empower all recent college graduates and soon-to-be college graduates. This one is for Andy and Brenda.

I originally saw this as several pieces. It started several weeks ago via a Facebook conversation with my grad school friend Casey. It grew two weeks ago when talking to Brenda and was finished in my mind this afternoon after writing another Facebook message to Brenda. Thank you for inspiring me to write this Brenda. Here are five lessons I would like to share.

1. Eliminate fear, love everything in your life. So far in my studies of life I found that every emotion really boils down to love and fear.

Sometimes fear is real, but most of the time it’s not. If you are scared about something go out and do something about it or just have faith pull you through.

Right now my biggest fear is driving. I wish I could rely on my body more as far as spasticity, coordination and reaction time. I know when the time is right, I will be blessed with the right driving teacher and I will eliminate that fear. For now life goes on well up and down Highway 31 as I launch my writing career from my apartment. I pray every time I get into the car. This love and fear concept took me a long time to understand. Spend some time thinking about it and what is right for you will come to pass.

2. Decide the odds don’t apply to you!

I flat out love Grey’s Anatomy. I could care less what the current drama is between McDreamy and McSteamy, however it is an extremely well-written show and there is always two or three wise nuggets of life in every episode. This week’s episode toward the very end had a conversation between Little Gray and Izzy. Izzy has her 5% to deal with and Little Grey’s Mom somehow died with a 0% chance of that happening.

Somewhere along the line of applying to Northwestern I was told they were going to take five students straight out of undergrad. To get one of five spots seemed daunting at the time. They ended up taking 7 of us. Statistics can change! Nothing is certain. If thoughts of the economy freak you out. Do what I’ve done. Shut off the news. I do not control the economy. Try to take care of what you can control and know you can do whatever you want.

3. Follow your heart and make sure your brain is listening. Joy is like a compass and your brain is like a GPS system.

It will take you exactly where you want to go, but you have to give it the right address. If you don’t like where you end up enter a new address, but don’t stay there. Most great journeys only reveal themselves one step at a time. Learn to be okay with this.

4. Treat everyone well and take extra care of the ones that love you.

A couple months ago I was looking for an answer to a question for several months. Out of the blue a person who has treated me like a pile of garbage for several years now just e-mails me the answer to my important question without even realizing that I was looking for that answer. I doubt this person even knows how much their actions hurt me because I rose above the situation so well. If that is not an example of karma, I do not know if one exists. I have been trying for a couple weeks now to come up with the exact phrasing for number 3 with the idea that it would be its own separate piece. I know the only reason I was able to come up with the exact phrase was because I was trying to uplift my lovely baby cousin this afternoon via Facebook. God gives us gifts if we look after those we are supposed to.

5. Follow your dreams, work hard and treat other people like you want to be treated.

I have said this so many times, but it needs to be repeated. I have seen so many people do the last two without doing the first one. Why do so many people ignore their hearts? The universe gives us personalized maps and we sometimes try to look at other people’s. Don’t follow the money! Follow the love; if you work hard at something you love the money will follow. Money after all really is just green paper.

No matter what age we are we are responsible for our little corner of the world. If everyone takes care of their own corner, all the sudden the world’s problems are lessened. This is a reality in our lifetime and any lifetime. The purpose of life is not perfection it is growth. Anything is possible!

Thank You Brenners, Thank You Everyone!
Chris