Rule The Universe!

The old saying goes, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It is so true. However sometimes life gives you way more then a bitter fruit.

Sometimes life gives absolute garbage and sometimes you don’t deserve it. It happens to everybody. The people who truly figure out how to make crapade are the people who rule the universe!

Learn to be a master of crapade and you will be successful in whatever you do. Man, I have taken some hard hits to the gut lately and I am becoming a master brewer of crapade.

That is why I will win today and everyday. I am a victor, not a victim.

If you can imagine it; you can make it happen! I know I have created much of my own problem. I didn’t always show it, but deep down I have always believed in myself. I know I can make anything happen, but for the vast majority of my life I thought I had to struggle to win. I thought taking people’s crap was good. It’s not!
Take care of yourself! Love yourself! It is important to make crapade, but don’t make so much you can barely breathe. Love yourself by sticking up for yourself! You deserve everything you want and by the grace of God you will get it!

Decide today to rule the universe! Yes Sir!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Conan & WALL-E Partying in My Head

Waking up this morning two images were dominant in my head.

First the final slide in my presentation at Northwestern University

“You will see no one has any idea what they are doing. You can allow this to scare you or liberate you.” – Conan O’Brien

Choose Liberation!

Second I realized that life really is like the movie Wall-E. Often times we have to sift through the garbage to find the beautiful green plant of hope.

Once you open your mind up to it you will realize that life is limitless. Free will really exists! However as you go through the journey to fully grasp the concept, the landscape can be quite frightening. With limitless options, am I making the right choice?

Please don’t be afraid to make a choice. You are free! Even if you make a “wrong” choice, you can always go back and fix things. Life is not supposed to be perfect!

Life is written in pen, but everybody’s outline has lines all over it, crossing things out and making revisions :)

Life does not always happen in the lines! Sometimes the world’s greatest discoveries were written in the margins as an after thought. Strive confidently in your journey and don’t be afraid to write in the margins. We are all liberated by the grace of God and the limitless options of the universe!

While admiring all the beauty of the universe you realize that life is not always filled with smiley faces and unicorns. Sometimes life throws you pile after pile of garbage like in the movie Wall-E. If you pay attention and listen hard you will always find the green plant.

This is especially true when dealing with other people that you really care about. It can be very painful if people do not share your vision for your life. Be like Wall-E and enjoy the heck out of Hello Dolly anyways!

Even if people criticize you and hurt your feelings they usually have some point of goodness that you can use to your benefit. Please focus on the green plant to make your journey more beautiful and clear the garbage away from your path for a better tomorrow.

Please focus on how liberating it is to find the beauty in everything!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Coming Attractions

A couple weeks ago I was very blessed to talk to a group of undergrads in an Integrated Marketing Communications class at Northwestern University. The favorite question I received after my presentation was “What movies are you looking forward to?”

At the time my answer was Sunshine Cleaning. I wrote the corresponding piece after I saw the movie the next day. http://www.chrisrathje.com/?p=155

Here is my current list of movies I am really looking forward to.

Away We Go (Limited Release starting in early June)

I feel such a strong connection to this movie I have easily watched the trailer over 100 times. I could easily call this movie Garden State 2 or Elizabethtown 2 because of the strong connection I feel and they are all stories based in unexpected travel and self discovery.

The story is about a couple who is expecting their first child and they ask themselves are they screwups? They realize they must move and change their lives, but they are terrified about the future. They know they love each other and that is what keeps them going.

(500) Days of Summer July 17th

To me this is a story of twenty something angst. Two people do not expect to find love, but they do. For some reason they seem to fight against it. Not sure why from the trailer. Do they really subscribe to different frequencies or are they just afraid? It looks like the story is told in a very interesting manner that reminds me of Definitely Maybe.

Three lines from the trailer that really stick out to me are:
1. This is not a love story.
2. What always happens? Life. (Life gets in the way.)
3. I don’t want to be over her, I want to get her back.

My responses are:
1. No one defines a love story. Any story can be a love story depending on your perspective. Don’t let others define your rules.
2. That is a true statement in today’s society, but why? We control our lives. If you truly love somebody or something go after it!
3. I love this statement because it is said with such conviction! Whether it is the right or wrong choice, he is making a stand and defining his own life!

Funny People July 31st

Wow! This looks like such a great movie! Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen teaming up a laugh fest is sure to ensue. Right? Not exactly.

This looks like a beautiful story of self exploration and the definition of happiness all based around a near death experience. I can relate, you appreciate your life so much more after you realize you almost lost it.

Carpe Diem and enjoy the movies!

Thanks for reading
Chris

Stoic is Not The Answer

I am probably the angriest I have ever been. It is because I have had to deal with everything in my life up to this point.

People staring at me in malls, kids making fun of me from when I was five years old and that was the easy part!

Taking ten years to learn to drive and dealing with low self esteem was the hard part. I can tell from pictures of when I was six years old I was a quad and doctors couldn’t figure it until I was 17?

And I’m the idioit here? I sat and took so much in my life. That is my bad.

PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE!

Face your problems head on and don’t let other people give you crap. We are all equals we are all God’s children.

Don’t let ANYBODY tell you how to live your life or what you “should” do. No one walks your path except you!

Tell the world how you want to live your life! I have no idea where my path is headed. I feel lost, but I also know I’m going to take so much better care of myself.

Smug a-holes have been pushing me around my whole life and I realize I don’t have to sit there and take it anymore. I am a good, tough person and if someone wants to get fresh with me I’m not going to take it anymore.

I am not a smart man, I am not paticullarly gifted in any one area, but I am tough and I love everybody. That counts for something. I am a good person and deserve to be treated well.

We are all God’s children! Please love yourself. Treat yourself better by letting others know they are wrong about you.

You can be calm and cool when you do it, but you don’t have to just sit there and take it. I hurt myself by taking too much crap.

Please learn from my mistake. You are good and deserve to be treated well.

EVERYBODY DOES! Talk up today so you aren’t filled with rage tommorrow.

We are all flawed, but we are all equal.

Love everybody including yourself.

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE!

On the road to a better life.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Ownership Isn't Always Happiness

I’m just sitting here in my apartment and man do I feel like an idiot.

I have a ticket to a party that I spent a pretty penny on and I’m not going. I’m so filled with anger I don’t want my toxic feelings to affect others.

Most days I am so f-ing lonely and today I have a chance to change that and I am so filled with rage I can’t be around other people.

The reason I am so angry is because I am just realizing karma does not work how I thought it did.

I really have no idea how karma works anymore. I try to be the happiest, nicest person I can when inside I am sad and tired and running on absolute fumes.

I got nothing people. Make sure to take care of yourself because people can really mistreat you.

God is wonderful, but some of his children need to learn some lessons.

I take complete ownership of my life, but I refuse to be treated like crap anymore. I am going to win people and I’m not going to be a door mat anymore. It is no longer acceptable to verbally abuse me.

I have a very quick tounge I just usually keep it to myself.

I work my ass off and I am going to get mine. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but BS ain’t gonna cut it anymore.
Own your life people and strive for happiness. Don’t pigeon hole yourself. First and foremost I’m an athlete and a communicator. They are both very broad terms because no sport wants to fully accept me.

I’m a freaky CP who some think I am lying about my function. This is another gut shot because if nothing else, I am honest.

We all create our lives and I am learning that we must be very specific with our thoughts.

Don’t be naive like me, expect the best, but prepare for the worst. I assumed others had my back and I was wrong.

Take complete control of your life and be happy.

The world is filled with beautiful things. We must be open to many options and not rely on others or outside forces to satisfy our happiness.

I have learned a lot, but I haven’t gotten what I’ve earned. That isn’t acceptable anymore and I need to go back to the drawing board.

A new life starts NOW!

Chris the door mat is over! I’m gonna win people. I’m gonna win!

Thanks for reading
Chris

YOU OWN YOUR LIFE!

This post is dedicated to John C. Mayer of Bridgeport, CT.

He has inspired so much over the last eight years and has written at least half of the soundtrack to my twenties.

I am so honored to be able to follow him on Twitter. John is witty and wise. I could easily write a book on how much he has inspired me and I will someday.

There is nothing in paticular that led me to write this piece it just came to me after reading many different things he wrote on Twitter. John Mayer is so right on the money about so many different things.

Want to change, start today!

Want to eat standing up? Who’s stopping you!

You’re scared to do something that you know is good for you? Take the risk! Do It!

No one is stopping you from doing anything in your life! The economy doesn’t stop you and somebody telling me my hands work better then they do DOES NOT control how I react one iota.

You have to be tough and strong, but YOU CAN DO IT TODAY!

The past is over; don’t like something, CHANGE IT TODAY!

I OWN MY LIFE! WHO’S WITH ME?

Thanks for reading
Chris

Being Uncool, Can Be The Coolest

I am just testing out a theory in this piece and am open to input from the outside world to test my hypothesis.

I heard somewhere in the last seven to ten days that trying too hard to be smart can be stupid. I definitely agree with that statement. In my younger days I was insecure and would occasionally use words I didn’t fully understand.

I am still a very flawed man, but I know every word that I use in my writing. There is nothing wrong with using simple straightforward language and occasionally using a more advanced word for emphasis or to capture a complex situation.

I strive to find the good in everybody, but I struggle to recognize the good in people who act like they are so much better then the vast majority of humanity. I humbly ask if someone constantly acts like they are better then everyone else; aren’t they actually showing that they are worse?

We are all in this together and we are all God’s children. I have found that when someone is trying too hard to be this or that they are actually being the opposite.

I know people mock my enthusiasm, but I can’t hide the joy I get from my life. For many years I hid who I really was because I was afraid of the criticism. People openly would compliment me for holding back my cheering or “playing it cool”.

I know I am a big fat dork and sometimes I act like a four year old on Christmas morning, but that is who I really am! I know I am uncool and for the first time in my life I’m not ashamed to say it. Uncool is the coolest version of me that I can be.

Please don’t be afraid to be who you really are or who you want to be!

Anything is possible!

Thanks for reading
Chris
chris.rathje@gmail.com

Listen to Your Body :)

I had plans to write two pieces tonight, but it’s just not going to happen.

I’m tired. In years past I would have pushed through, but my body is telling me to chill out.
I must say in the last few weeks I am taking better care of myself and it feels great. Its really pretty simple, but I’ve never done it before to this extent.

1. When I’m tired, I go to sleep.
2. When I’m hungry, I eat.
3. When I have to go to the bathroom, I drop what I am doing and go to the bathroom.

There is nothing wrong with being human. Please learn from all my years of mistakes. Be good to yourself. I’m trying to be better to myself.

Thanks for reading
Chris
chris.rathje@gmail.com

I Am Free!

Writing the last piece was EXTREMELY liberating for me, I have worked hard, played by the rules and I still haven’t gotten a sniff of what I’ve desired.

I’m okay with that because I work in God’s time not my own. I am flawed and I don’t understand why I have to struggle so much when all I do is work my tail off and help others, but that is not for me to decide. I just have to continue to do my best.

I’m a mess up and a screw up, but I’ve yet to meet someone with a bigger heart then me. I REALLY go after what I want with no excuses and no apologies. Many people have said I am so lucky to be at Lakeshore, which I am, but I made my luck. I took less money and had the courage to move down here not really knowing anyone expect Kevin. It doesn’t take talent to be down here, all it takes is determination.

I have had many people back home and other places tell me it takes real guts to move like I did, but I honestly don’t see it. I hated my life before, why shouldn’t I change it?

I am going on fumes right now, but I have a responsibility to myself and my dreams to keep going. I told one of my best friends yesterday I still plan on going to London and I could tell from his voice inflexion he didn’t believe me. I am SICK and TIRED of people discounting me. I promise you Big Boy we will be in the opening ceremonies together.

I have no idea how this is going to happen, but it will. I want it more then anyone else on the planet. I know how hard people work to make it happen and I work harder then most. Just in case anyone doubts my claims my door is always open in Bama. I promise you will be a better, tougher athlete after one week with me.

Part of me feels lost because I can’t make any traction, but I am also soaring like an eagle. What do I have to lose? Nothing!

I know I am the real deal and for the first time in my life I have the courage to say it. I have tried REALLY hard to please people, but have gotten nowhere. Believe whatever you want to believe. It is your right as a human being. I KNOW where I’m going!

I say it loud and proud everyone will know me before the London opening ceremonies and my dreams will come true in about 3.5 years. I will be a Paralympian representing the red white and blue!

The law of attraction is very real and I will get exactly what I want out of life. I am hungry, I am good and I will win!

No matter what your dream is there is only one opinion that matters. YOURS!

Keep working until you win. I WILL WIN SOON!
Thank You!
Chris
chris.rathje@gmail.com

Please Pass The Tube

I’ve got some recent criticism for not being as happy as I usually am, but I’ve also gotten some praise for being honest. So I am going to continue to speak my truth.

Back in 2001 I was having a philosophical conversation with my friends Grant and Stouty. Grant (T12) and Stouty (T6-T7) happen to have spinal cord injuries. They were both envious of the fact that I didn’t have to catheterize in order to go to the bathroom.

I told them I would gladly catheterize if it meant I could have full use of my hands. I would like to amend that comment nearly eight years later. I would catheterize with pleasure everyday for the rest of my life if people really understood what my hands were and were not capable of.

I am tired of everyone thinking I am just some stupid CP. Every time I mess up it’s because I’m stupid, every time I do something good it is because I have so much function.

Back in early 2008 I had the rugby game of my life to that point. I scored the game tying goal with 3 seconds left to send it into overtime and scored the game winning goal in overtime. Afterwards one of the refs came up to me and said “Man you have a lot of function for a CP.” Is it possible that I’m just a good player? No.

I swear on my life I have below average function for someone with CP. I have worked my butt off since I was nine years old to get every ounce out of my body and I am extremely tired of being punished for it.

Every classification system I can think of is based on the medical world and this is where the problem lies. The medical world has been making terrible assumptions for a long time and it has to stop.

When I was four years old I went to therapy four times a week. At some point I remember just collapsing. I was so tired and so sore I couldn’t stop crying. In my four year old head I was lazy and stupid because I had to go down to therapy twice a week and I still couldn’t walk.

Then when I was seven we did 17 reconstructive surgeries in a very short period of time. During the rehab a substitute therapist pushed me way too hard. It hurt so badly and she wouldn’t let me sit down. I literally punched her in the head four or five times until she would let me sit down. If that wasn’t hard enough my leg reconstruction was cutting edge at the time, so I was the topic at some lecture. Dr. James Fisk actually had the audacity to say I would never live on my own, drive a car or walk. Two of three isn’t bad :) Remember I was SEVEN and sitting right there in the front row. That is emotional child abuse.

I have no idea if that is still happening today, but from talking to many other people with cerebral palsy over the last few weeks I have concluded that it happened for many more years after my formative years.

You can’t miraculously make cerebral palsy go away. I worked and worked and worked and my legs didn’t work and my hands didn’t work. The medical community stripped away my self esteem one session at a time. You don’t grow out of an injury no matter what the origin.

It is a wrong premise that has to stop today. A very experienced rugby player told me if you play like a certain class after three years of hard work you are that class. Same thing is true with therapy, if a kid can’t do something after five years, adapt, don’t just keep pushing. Therapists tried to get me to walk up until I was 16. My four year old self was a genius for just stopping and crying. In twelve plus years it never got any less painful.

No matter what you are going through long sustained pain is a sign to change or reevaluate. Pain is bad.

I know I don’t have medical credentials, but I have lived my life and that should count for a lot. The sad thing is, as I talk to more people with cerebral palsy I realize my story is way more common then I wish it was.

This goes for anyone. The time to change things is now. I refuse to live in a world anymore where it is okay to call me a spazz. I will live in a world where people stop making archaic assumptions and start really seeing what I am capable of. I am a proud quad and what I have accomplished on and off the court is due to my hard work, not because I am some freak who has all these countless advantages.

This is way bigger then sports, this is about life.

I am so hurt because I deal with all the crap from the able bodied world that every disabled person deals with, but I also deal with this constant misunderstanding of who I am from the disabled world too. It is a sad truth that I relish the able bodied world’s prejudices in comparison to what I get from my disabled brothers and sisters.

Please never call me a spazz again and think twice before you make an assumption. I have bladder spasms just like everybody else.

Thanks for reading
Chris

Blazing a Trail in a Rugby Chair

This past week has been very challenging for me. Not getting a tryout for the Developmental National Team was so gut wrenching it is beyond words. The reason it is so difficult for me is because I KNOW I would be an extremely valuable member of the team.

Unfortunately wheelchair rugby uses a system to classify hands that does not capture the true level of my impairment. All my muscles are still alive, but they don’t work the way they should. They are slow and clunky and get worse with physical exercise. There is nothing I can do to change this at the moment. It just stinks that I have to wait another two years of my physical prime to see some justice. I remind myself everyday to be thankful for God’s time and to not worry about my own.

In a weird way it has been a blessing in disguise. I have had so many people give me their support over the last week it has been incredible! The system is still very flawed, but the love I feel from the rugby world has never been greater.

One of my greatest supporters was Tom Vesco of Vesco Metal Craft. Tom sent me a great message of support and it was very touching to me. After playing one season of rugby in 2004-2005 I realized a used chair that didn’t fit was not going to cut it.

I called around to the different wheelchair companies and finally decided to get a Vesco. I was very nervous about getting a rugby chair because no one had ever built a chair for a cerebral palsy ball handler before in the United States. I was worried chair manufacturers wouldn’t realize I could feel my legs and they wouldn’t realize my legs are constantly jumping up and down out of my control.

Tom and Neil are very solutions oriented people. They suggested I just come out to the shop in San Diego and they would measure me for the chair themselves. My parents gave me my Christmas present three months early that year; I got a plane ticket from Chicago to San Diego.

Tom, Neil and I become a team in how to make me the best rugby chair. We made some assumptions, some were right, some were wrong, but that is what happens when you are trailblazers. Perfection was never the goal, positive growth was. We assumed I would be able to do things with my hands and trunk that I never was able to, but how were we supposed to know this at the time?

I promise making mistakes is one thousand times better then never trying. I look at my 26 inch wheels and wish I had the quick starting of 25 inch wheels. Because of my function loss in my hands I want to move to 25 inch tires, but that doesn’t make my 26 inch tires bad.



I’m proud of my 26 inch wheels because it is a symbol of my innovation and willingness to keep trying things despite barriers.

I was used to 26 inch tires from basketball. When I played college wheelchair basketball I had the worst hands in the league. If anyone touched the ball while I was holding it I was going to turn it over. The one thing I had going for me was my height.

I have long arms and could even block some high function players thanks to my wingspan. I was ALWAYS guarded by shorter players. So I learned to put the ball above my head with two arms that way no one could steal the ball from me. With 26 inch tires I was one inch taller. The way my basketball logic worked back then was all based on stable height. So many people were faster then me, I just didn’t want to cause turnovers the few times I got to touch the ball.

Pushing with 26 inch tires creates interesting advantages and disadvantages. It just seemed like the right thing for me to do to keep doing what I was doing while playing basketball.

I love rugby with all my heart, but it has not been easy. It has been and continues to be a roller coaster. It is nice to have someone to have my back through the twist and turns like the Vescos. I am venturing a guess that no one in rugby has as messed up feet as me that they CAN FULLY FEEL. This creates some interesting challenges and we are still figuring things out. I am currently on my third foot plate and the Vescos have never charged me an extra dime.

People, who know me, know that I am wired differently. I don’t see companies as companies, they are people. Red from Eagle is an excellent man and his son Tate is one of my favorite people in rugby, but I can only have one chair. I’ll keep blazing my trail in the chair with the yellow wheels.

Thanks for reading! Anything is possible!
Chris

Fight Sin & Win! (An Easter Message)

This piece is dedicated to Pastor Marty of Peace Lutheran Church in Lombard, Illinois.

 I have disliked church most of my life because of the crowds of people and loud music is just a lot for my damaged central nervous system to take in, but I’ve always had faith.

 I was telling my parents just this morning I wish I could hear Pastor Marty’s sermons without having to deal with everything else.

 I was on edge through the music while everyone stood up and people surrounded me, but it was worth it because I got to listen to Pastor Marty’s sermon.

 Pastor Marty eloquently discussed different kinds of sin.  There is sin you accept and there is sin you fight.  He encouraged us all to fight more sin then we ever have before.  He told us that if we choose to fight more sin then ever before the hardest year of our lives lay ahead.

 I KNOW he is right because this past year I have fought harder against sin then ever before.

 When I talk about sin for this piece I would like to use the original meaning without religious connotation so people of all faiths can be united in this journey.

 Sin in its original form literally translates to miss the mark.

 I missed the mark when I was younger because I hated myself and was so sad.  I missed the mark as a young adult because I accepted the sub standard roads of what I “should” do.

 I do what I want to do now by the grace of God and the joy that the universe plants in my heart.  I love everybody and everything because that is what God wants.  I sin everyday because of fear and other emotions, but I own it and bring it out in the light.  I still have fear I just refuse to hide it anymore.

 I am a sinner and a screwup, but God still looks out for me!  I promise you no matter what, he is looking out for you today and everyday.

 The sin of yesterday does not matter.  God will release you from past mistakes today or any day when you accept the love of the universe.

 I have a lot of faith today and know it is here to stay.   Anyone can say they have faith in good times, but it takes conviction to have faith in lesser times.

 I am blessed because all of my necessities are taken care of, but find myself bare because the desire cupboard is so empty .

 I have less money then ever, the loneliness of my heart continues to build everyday and my sports career stays stagnant due to many factors, which I have little control over, but I still KNOW I am BLESSED!

 I know God and I have the same destination in mind because he is the one who wrote the directions in my heart.  I don’t understand his unseen barriers and detours or his timing.

 That is not my concern!  God will take care of me today and everyday.  The only thing I focus on is giving my best everyday.  I promise that all God wants is for us to give our best and try to raise the bar a little higher each day!

 Happy Easter Everyone!  God Bless and as always thanks for reading!

Chris

Restless Rathje, Endless Energy and Faith

As the title indicates I am very tired.  There has been times in my life I have been sadder, there has been times I have been WAY more depressed, but I can’t remember a time I was more tired.

 I’m not a victim and I don’t let negative energy take over my soul.  I keep doing what I feel is right and everyday my hole keeps getting deeper.  I’m okay with that because with every piece of dirt being removed my mountain keeps getting higher.

 All I have ever REALLY wanted to do in my life is play sports.  Sure I listen to music, and watch certain TV shows and movies, but that’s really just recharging my brain with ideas for writing.

 I have this connection with certain movies.  I think it is God’s way of communicating with me in certain junctures in my life.  On Thursday I discovered a trailer for a movie called Away We Go.  It spoke to me so loudly I have probably watched the clip over sixty times already.

 The first sound in the trailer is the question ”Are we screw-ups?”

 I can relate with this so well the only fitting word to describe the situation is scary.

 I have ignored lucrative work opportunities, not drank a drop of alcohol in over two years and I can’t remember what month it was when another human being entered my apartment for a social visit, all in name of my dreams that keep putting up barrier after barrier after barrier.  I keep helping person after person all in the name of karma and I can’t get one break when it comes to the only thing I REALLY want.

 I have been blessed to be around hundreds of Paralympians over the last nine years.  Some get how blessed they are and others take their blessings so for granted it makes me want to puke and cry at the same time.  I would give every luxury I have for a real level playing field in one sport. 

 It looks like I am not going to get a break in the short run and I am as far from okay as I can be, but I’m staying put.  I have no idea how I can possibly make it through another year of this, but I know I will.  I am one tough nut, but the reason I am going to prosper is not I.  It is the grace of God.  I have been running on fumes since February and every single thing that kept me going is gone and did not happen.

 999 out of 1000 people would leave and never look back..  I am the one who is staying.  I am a screw up, I am sloppy and I am sad, but my faith cannot be matched.

 I have already put in so much, why quit now?  THE ODDS DON’T APPLY TO ME!  I don’t look in the natural world.  I look in the supernatural world of my minds eye.  My dreams are coming and you can book it!

 No matter what you are facing God provides in the long run.  Don’t get too overwhelmed by the false constraint that the human mind creates.  Time is an illusion.

 I know it sounds weird and confusing, but joy is causing this.  I just don’t want anything else  a tenth as bad as this.  I know I am one of the “freaks” of the sport I get that, but why I am always on the outside?

 The only way I can rationalize it is to show how bad I really want it.  I an a screw up who keeps squeak, squeak, squeaking.  I’m lucky because I have everything I need, but what happens when you get nothing you want and the desire doesn’t go away or change.

 I really don’t know.  I’ve taken a departure, but that’s how shattered I feel.

 Just in this moment I remember I determine my life.  I’m gonna keep smiling even though I don’t know why.

 God gave me a call from my buddy Robb and some stupid lowbrow television laughs that was enough to make it through the night and tomorrow, God will give me enough to make it through the day.

 I sit here and wonder do people really understand how consistently I have wanted this or do they think its melodrama?  Do people really realize how systematically I have been excluded or do they think I am a whiner?

 I know I am telling the truth so He will be okay with me.

 This Energizer Bunny is running out of juice and the 3 D world has nowhere to recharge that I can see. Somehow, someway I am going to make it up the mountain and anyone else can too!

 I feel like I reached a new level of clueless screw-up, but I still have faith I am going to make it to the top.

 Thanks for reading

Chris 

The Mountain Just Got A Little Higher

I would like to apologize if the post offended anyone yesterday, but I do not regret anything and I take nothing back.  I am a very positive person, but the operative word is person.  I’M A HUMAN BEING!  Just like everybody else I’m flawed.  I’m not made of candy and unicorns, I am a human being made of bone and blood.

 The reason I wrote I am a horrible whiny jerk is because that is how I felt.  I got devastating news yesterday, but that did not control my reaction.  I got red in the face with anger and cried and the fact that I had such a negative reaction bothered me to the core.  I did not like my reaction, but I’m not afraid of it. Bring things out into the light and see what happens.  Embrace how you feel and move onward and upward.

 One of my favorite lyrics of all time is by Jason Mraz. 

 It takes a hole to build a mountain.

 The hole just reached its deepest levels ever not because of yesterday, but because of everything that happened before it in addition to yesterday.

 I am no victim, I sign up for these ground rules that treat me unfairly year after year after year because my heart just won’t shut up.  Sports in a vacuum give me so much joy.  I am just incredibly tired of playing under a different set of rules because I have a different origin of my disability.

 This has to stop and I will be the leader in the cause.  Kids with cerebral palsy need to know they are just different, not worse and sports classification plays a huge role in this.  I have had low self esteem most of my life.  Every kid with a disability gets a large dose of self-hatred from the able bodied community, but when you have  CP you get a double dose within the disabled community.  We are not spazzs, we are not jokes and we are not failures because are bodies work differently.

 My vision doesn’t change I am still going to London and Chicago as an athlete.  The path takes a detour, but it does not change.  I got places to go and I am still headed to my final destination.

 The skies are very hazy, but that’s okay because my mountain is higher then ever.

 I Love Everyone!  Thank You!

Chris

I Am A Horrible Whiny Jerk

I feel like a horrible person today. I feel like a shell of myself and I hate it.

My heart is broken. A member of the opposite sex did not cause this break to occur, a sport did! All I have ever wanted to do since 3rd grade is play sports and I have been systematically excluded from success.

It’s all because when I was a baby I didn’t have enough sense to break my neck. Silly me, got oxygen deprivation and hurt my central nervous system instead. I should have known better, but they just don’t teach you these things when you are a minute old.

You know how miserable my childhood was because I could never figure out how to get my hands to work like the therapists said they should.

Do you know how wonderful it feels to be introduced to a community of people who struggle just like you do? And how gut wrenching it is when your new brothers mock you because you can crawl or go down a ramp a little easier.

People seem to forget how hard it is for me to drive and people have no idea what is like to use only one eye at a time or what a startle reflex is really like? A startle reflex is a lie that CP constantly sends to your brain. It tells you to stop every time you do something right. Take a push STOP! Pass the ball STOP! Catch the ball STOP! You try too hard to fight it and some sloppy things are going to happen.

Please ask the Lakeshore staff how many countless hours I have tried to retrain my startle reflex and the ridiculous amount of hours I spend in the weight room and fieldhouse trying to live up to a 3.0 standard I now realize I can not.

The league has no problem taking my 10-20 hours a week of volunteer work, but God forbid I want a fair classification so I have the same opportunities as everybody else. I have big dreams and it is hard to see court time on any team if you are 1.0 higher then you should be. I have gone to ridiculous lengths to get court time on other teams and no body seems to notice.

I am mean, I am horrible and I am not myself because I so distraught. All these negative words describe me because of my mind set, but I refuse to accept that the pats on the heads and the shrugs of the shoulders are going to cut it anymore.

What is the point of a classification system? We would not have a sport if Duncan Campbell and his teammates sat back and did nothing like I and the rest of my CP and polio siblings are being asked to do. Lets try some new things; we just want a fair shot. When people tell me one more year, my response is I have already waited 18.

Basketball punched me in the mouth so I put my hope in track. I was fast among my CP peers after many years of hard work just in time for the IPC to eliminate my Paralympic dreams. For Beijing they kept CP field so I picked it up. In less then a year I broke the US record in four events, but was nowhere near the world record. I knew I wasn’t going to make Beijing last summer by the time May rolled around, but I thought since I had four US Records I would at least go to my own nationals in Arizona. Nope, it was considered an international meet using international standards. I was not allowed to compete in my own nationals after earning four national records.

CPs are systematically kept from success and I am the squeaky wheel that is not going to quiet down until there is change. The next time someone tells me to be patient take a moment to think what I have already endured.

Like I said I am a whiny horrible jerk. I am very very tired and I just want a level playing field so I can close my eyes and see one or two dreams come to pass.

I still love everybody, the status quo of the system just breaks my heart.

Thanks for reading
Chris

The Sun Shines on Everyone!

This is connected to my last post. In the closing minutes of my speech yesterday, some of the students asked me questions. They were all great and I appreciate every single one, but the one that stuck out to me the most was if there were any current movies that spoke to me.

 I explained to them how my mind was not set to movies like it had been in the past, but Sunshine Cleaning had stuck out to me and I hoped to see it while I was up in Chicago.   I saw it today and I was encouraged by what I saw.

 I apologize in advance; this is not going to be the most organized, well thought out piece I’ve ever written. My mind is not in that place right now and so my work cannot be either.

 I did not have my usual laser focus while watching this movie, my mind wandered, but it was still wonderful.   The characters in Sunshine Cleaning were far from perfect, but they were all beautiful in their own way.

 The color scheme of the entire movie set a subtle surreal tone for the entire journey and it just helped drive home the point that what most people see as ugly or disgusting has its own beauty.

 Be Different!  Have the courage to be the kid who licks the wall, recognize the kindness of the one armed man and recognize the service you are providing by cleaning up gruesome areas.

 Sunshine Cleaning had so many beautiful themes that were similar to its distant cousin movie Little Miss Sunshine, but it stood alone as well.  Sunshine Cleaning seemed more raw to me; it seemed a little dirtier.

 It reminds me of so many people who are a little rough around the edges.   I encourage anyone who knows someone that fits this description to give them a chance. You never know what they had to go through to make those edges rough.

 People assume my life is so hard because I use a wheelchair.  To be blunt the wheelchair and the physical challenges that go along with it are the easy part.  People who have horrible attitudes and project their weakness on me are the cripples, not me.  I’m tough, I’m robust and I will prosper in the New Mexico desert of Sunshine Cleaning.

 I know I am ugly and scary to so many just like the one armed man, but I try extremely hard to love everybody.  Little kids love talking to me and that’s enough of a reassurance I am doing something right.  They haven’t been told to dislike this person or that person yet.  They still listen to their hearts and love everybody.

 I got a little rougher and a little rawer today as my patience continues to wane on a topic that is closest to my heart, but I’m okay with that if it means I can go to a world where I fit in better with the boy who licks walls, the one armed man and the crime scene cleaners.

 Sunshine is an equal opportunity element. Always keep joy in your heart, give your best and uplift others!  It doesn’t matter where you come from, it matters where you are going : )

 This one is again dedicated to my undergrad IMC buddies, barriers are going to come, people are going to piss on your head and tell you it’s raining, but be strong!

 Declare I got places to go and nothing is going to stop me!  The odds of failure are only for those weak chumps who buy into what they “should” do and what they “should” expect!

 The greatness train is coming and it’s got a squeaky wheel so everybody can hear it coming.  Squeak! Squeak!

 Thanks for reading

Chris

Expanding The Zone

I would like to apologize for the long time between posts.  The end of the rugby season and a new project that wrapped up yesterday took up vast amounts of my time. 

 My new project that wrapped up yesterday excites me because it is a new forum for me to share my ideas.  Yesterday I had the privilege to speak to an undergrad class at the Integrated Marketing Communications program at the Medill School, Northwestern University.

 I had the great privilege to earn my masters degree from the same program in 2005.

 In my talk I obviously spoke quite a bit about marketing, but I tried to also talk about life.

 Here were the ground rules for our conversation:

 1. Have some fun 

2. At some point I am going to mess up (and contrary to popular belief that’s okay)

3.  Life is not about perfection; life is about growth

4. Take away what you want and dispose of the rest

 These points are chrisrathje.com regulars and I don’t think I need to expound on them in this post, but I am proud of these points and I hope the students learned something yesterday because I really enjoyed working with them and they allowed me to realize something.

 A large part of my conversation was a part called the Evanston Lessons.  Evanston is a city directly north of Chicago where a large part of the Northwestern campus is located.

 On one slide I talked about my four favorite movies during the 15 months I lived in Evanston.  I enjoy movies so much and for some reason these four just spoke to me.

 At some point either on chrisrathje.com or Soup Fork: The Book, I will share exactly what I shared with the class, however for now I would like to focus on how I felt.

 I was happy, excited and flat out pumped about my conversation with the students, but by the time I was discussing Elizabethtown, my favorite movie and the impact it had on my life  I was in the zone.  A force much greater then myself had taken over and the address of my mind was the zone in all directions.

 It is the exact same feeling I have when I have not realized four hours have gone by sitting in front of my desktop.

 Thank you Wildcats for helping me to expand my zone, please remember there is nothing special about me whatsoever.  I just follow the joy that is planted in my heart.  Following my joy has allowed me to expand my zone and following your joy can help anyone discover his or her zone or expand it.

 All students of life please remember to love your life and your path.  Barriers are sure to come, but no matter what hardship might come follow the joy.  Don’t worry about the big world.  Just worry about your zone, raise it to new heights and expand it when the time is right.

 Life is far from perfect, but it is beautiful!  :)  I know I am sloppy sometimes and I know I am stupid sometimes, but I’m going to keep eating life’s soup one forkful at a time!

 God bless everyone, thanks for reading

Chris

Live from Louisville

Hey Everyone

I’m sorry I have been MIA for the last few days. I have been very busy getting ready and participating in rugby nationals.

I am so blessed to be around such an amazing rugby family. There are nothing but wins in my heart because of all the wonderful people and experiences I get to be surrounded by.

As athlete of the year Nick Springer says “We are all in this together!”

All the players are SO SO thankful for the contributions that the volunteers give so selflessly to our sport.

We Love Rugby!

THANK YOU!
Chris