I would like to apologize if the post offended anyone yesterday, but I do not regret anything and I take nothing back. I am a very positive person, but the operative word is person. I’M A HUMAN BEING! Just like everybody else I’m flawed. I’m not made of candy and unicorns, I am a human being made of bone and blood.
The reason I wrote I am a horrible whiny jerk is because that is how I felt. I got devastating news yesterday, but that did not control my reaction. I got red in the face with anger and cried and the fact that I had such a negative reaction bothered me to the core. I did not like my reaction, but I’m not afraid of it. Bring things out into the light and see what happens. Embrace how you feel and move onward and upward.
One of my favorite lyrics of all time is by Jason Mraz.
It takes a hole to build a mountain.
The hole just reached its deepest levels ever not because of yesterday, but because of everything that happened before it in addition to yesterday.
I am no victim, I sign up for these ground rules that treat me unfairly year after year after year because my heart just won’t shut up. Sports in a vacuum give me so much joy. I am just incredibly tired of playing under a different set of rules because I have a different origin of my disability.
This has to stop and I will be the leader in the cause. Kids with cerebral palsy need to know they are just different, not worse and sports classification plays a huge role in this. I have had low self esteem most of my life. Every kid with a disability gets a large dose of self-hatred from the able bodied community, but when you have CP you get a double dose within the disabled community. We are not spazzs, we are not jokes and we are not failures because are bodies work differently.
My vision doesn’t change I am still going to London and Chicago as an athlete. The path takes a detour, but it does not change. I got places to go and I am still headed to my final destination.
The skies are very hazy, but that’s okay because my mountain is higher then ever.
I Love Everyone! Thank You!
Chris
1 comment:
What an incredibly powerful post as was the one before it. I can so relate to your feelings deep inside your soul as you are crying out to a system to help you achieve your dreams. Your passion and drive are incredible. I send you loving prayers and so admire your courage...Take heart Chris - it's happening - the world is changing and you are going to find people who are going to help open doors for you and countless others for whom you are a voice.
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